C'est La Vie - That's Life . .

Unmasking

2010-08-15T01:56:00.004+08:00

It has been long since I wrote an entry like this and it makes me reminisce on my very drastically different past. I really miss collecting my thoughts and reflecting it like this as I always did. It was one way of self-evaluation and saying things that no one listens to. I've tried but to no avail.

A full year is about to finish its course and yet here I am feeling like my life had taken a step back. Change is a constant for everybody, you either move forward or you move backward. In my case, its the latter and I don't exactly feel good about it. There is just this restraining grip haunting my once strong will and highly motivated self. Whenever chances arise, there are always excuses to push them away. Although my academic results may look excellent, there is just this void that makes me feel so withdrawn and so lousy about myself. Its like you can fly but you choose to walk to your destination instead. Its like you know you deserve to be doing better.

I feel so fruitless where I once used to make full and good use of 24 hours a day. Right now, so much time is wasted expecting things aimlessly and foolishly. Half the time spent in school is wasted doing things which are not purposeful. Pushing away responsibilities I once used to embrace so much, so much. Placing the wrong priorities in life and giving in to emotions. I screwed up. Where is the Gerald who used to be rationale and purpose driven?

Taking time to really observe and look around at everyone else, I realised there is just so much I am missing out. Looking at the different picture, the different engagement and vocation, why am I not one of them? I feel so happy and glad for so many who have found their new meaning and purpose, but yet here I am trapped in my own naive paradigm hoping for things which are seemingly bleak. I feel like a fool but yet I'm too weak to climb out of it. I'm drained and I feel like I'm just digging down deeper than I could climb out. Just how did I ended up like this?

An entirely crushed and broken inward pessimism which I thought could be suppressed by my superficially outward optimism. No, it does not work at all. Having a mask you put out for everyone would only help right at that moment. Now when everyone is gone, all of it just haunts you than you can think or imagine. Its a mental stress which I have no idea how many could understand. And trust me in this. Its never about just having achievements and hitting your targets. At the end of the day you might have everything you want but yet feel empty on the inside.

I want to bring a change in all of these. I do not want to lose out all the time and energy I still bear during my youth. I have in hands asset which I shouldn't take for granted but use it the best I can. Time to stay committed and time to rise up to the occasion once again. I have no idea how its all going to work out, but I will try. After all, willingness abounds much more than excuses.

Come on Gerald stay strong, you can do it like you have done it before!

Resuming in progress

2010-05-09T20:55:00.006+08:00

Just when thought that there is just so much to life, you're overwhelmed yet again.

This blog has been more or less inactive for quite a while now already, and I have decided its time to revive and resume! This time round, not gonna be wordy and a promise there will be pictures!

First things first! I'm officially enrolled in Diploma in Infocomm Security Management (DISM) at Singapore Polytechnic (SP). Sounds like "dim-sum" to you? Well, thats what they coined our course here at SP.

A month is about to pass for my life in SP. It is the fourth week starting on Monday tomorrow! I wouldn't say that life had been easy or neither would I say it has been hard. It is just the start you might say and it feels relaxing indeed. However, if you really want to do well in your diploma this would be a rather scary journey. No more spoon feeding like how it was back in the secondary school days. To all secondary students, better appreciate your teachers!

Like the what I said in the previous posts I had applied for the:

iDA Integrated Infocomm Scholarship (IIS)

I've GOT IT like finally~!
One of the days SP organized this celebration dinner for us. Guess what?! They actually invited Mrs Soh for this event and I'm seriously shocked! I really didn't expect people from MSL to come by. She said soon I'd be pride highlighted which is like "wow!". Think this will be the first time for me, but too bad I've graduated.

I really should thank Ms Ng, my ex-form teacher for this! Without her I doubt I would even make it for the scholarship! Thanks to Qin Hui, Xiang Rong and Mrs Soh too!

Anyway, I had anticipated what it would be like in poly back then already. Well, but its logic yep? The older you grow, the more you should learn to be independent of others. The way I see tertiary education is that we are not actually trying to keep up with the latest technology and know-how but we are learning how to learn. 10 years down the road, do you think what you had learnt would be applicable? I highly doubt so.

Cheers to all first year poly mates out there!

All the best!

Bazinga!

2010-02-16T05:40:00.004+08:00

Hey World!

Right!

First of all,

Happy chinese lunar new year (CNY) cum valentines day
to all you people!

Its really kind of sad for the case of CNY clashing right with valentines. For obvious reasons, you don't really get the choice to bail on your family to spend time alone with your partner, which really defeats the purpose for the day! Guess what? This is a total bad news to all flowery retailers, which would most likely face the demise in their usual "reasonable" sales figure.

Well well well, this year is the year of the Tiger! For myself, I'm a rooster and its believed that we're suppose to bear good luck this year. However, I really really beg to differ after some time of trying out the "good luck" charm. Ended up with hedging every bit of the extra and losing it all out. So what do you think? Any roosters out there happened to experience any good fortune? It would at least give me a glimmer of hope for the year!

Anyway, my point being; I'm not really a fan of "luck". It all lies with manipulated statistics. Gamble and have fun during this festive season but don't treat it as your source of income though!

Here are some outdated pictures which I had yet to update yet!

Alright!

So its Yeo Yue Ting birthday and we actually went over to gave her a surprise! I had in mind and already wanted to like hang out with her over dinner with the rest of the people. Unfortunatle, for students in JC school had already started. So we decided to give it a go and went over to her house instead!

Qinhui made her a really sweet card as you can see!

We bought over a cake for a simple celebration; just the four of us!

Finally, here's some update for myself!

Well, its been a long week for me. I went for the Infocomm Integrated Scholarship (IIS) sharing session @ SP last friday. I'm so glad that I'd already met with my future classmates and kind of cliqued with them. Well, they aren't exactly like me but they're all better off or not, "equivalent to me" kind of students.

Somehow or rather, I've gained much more confident after attending the sharing session for getting into this ISS. The 4/11 of 20 scholars in SG from SP told us our academic had already took us off this far to be invited and accepted. The rest of it just lies with the interview selection! The panel wants to see how our profile matches our personality, and thank goodness I've had a good number of experiences getting interviewed by VIPS.

I've a whole lot to share about for my leadership experience in MSL, so wish me good luck!

Here's what I've gathered for the benefits:

Annual allowance of SGD$6000/year
One-off computer allowance of SGD$1500
Direct degree programme @ NUS (Must maintain a GPA of 3.8)
Overseas internship opportunities
Choice of IDA listed company bonded to for 3 years
Full coverage for tuition fees for both Diploma and Degree levels

This is it

2010-02-01T13:55:00.021+08:00

Flipping round the edges
With the brink of all hedges
Emerging through the pages
With the goal of all wages

Waging with what was mighty
Falling short of what is worthy
Clinging the start my dreams
Bleak the future seems

Weariness kicks in crippling
Leaving a halt state hanging
Fortified with love all pouring
Wholeness just found reaping

Deeper unto the earth unfall
Purest of white the moon unfold
Bright the colours the vast unseen
Future the hope the sates unfold

* We are limited, not by our abilities, but by our vision *

The outcome of one of my sleepless night!
Well, it pretty much summarises the month of January' 10 for me.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LIONEL LEE! (20-Jan-10)
*No, we're not gays

We(*9 of us) had our little celebration for him on 21 Jan and ate at NEWYORKNEWYORK! All the photos are up at Facebook and sadly I do not have the raw copies of it yet...

Its been more than a month since I last updated!

You might be wondering where am I headed?

I've got back my results! Surprisingly its a rather bizzare result slip than what I'd expected! What's strange was that the distinction allocated actually differs from which the amount of effort I put into the various individual subjects.

For starters, ask anyone in my class about my Combined Humanities. All of them would most probably say " A pass at best?". This was so as I didn't see it as a subject of importance and I'd purposefully neglected my way through. As it turned out surprisingly, it became my distinction subject. What an irony for subjects which I toiled through the wee hours for.

What I'm (really/seriously/whatever convinces you) thrilled over my O level results is actually my English! Scoring a distinction for English in my school has been like one of the most impossible task. Tell anyone in my level about distinction in English they would say "cannot be done", "impossible" or "too difficult", cause mostly we just aim to pass our school English examination, which is of higher standards. However, I'm so so so so glad I'd made it for the first time!

Anyways, I'd choosen the course of my choice at SP! Diploma in Infocomm Security Management. It had always been my dream and goal entering this particular course since back in the Sec 3 days. I've pondered for a very long time between JC and the goal of my past. Well, I still decided to cling on to my very first motivation!

Indeed, like what the directors of SP said "Get 8 points for ur L1B4 and you get to any course of your choice for sure"; I got into DISM!

Now the problem lies with my second motivation for the hardwork in O levels; the Integrated Infocomm Scholarship programme. It seemed really really impossible to get into the programme. I read up and they said that out of 147 outstanding O lvl students that signed up last year, only 20 of them got in! Do you know what this means? It means in order to get a place for the scholarship, I have to compete and somehow impress myself to the top 10%! This was why I felt that my result weren't really that great afterall and not because I'm unrealistic about it.

One of the segment of the application is writing essays!

Personal Aspirations - 200 words
Career Aspirations - 200 words
Life Aspirations - 500 words

I need a whole lot of inspiration for this manzx!

Other than this, I still need 2 referee, 2 letter of recommendation as well as my testimonial which I'm trying to get together. Wish me all the luck in this though I really doubt I would barely make it.. Well, the good news is there is a SP scholarship programme in April if I fail the IIS.

Anyhow, just to sidetrack! I'm no longer working at Work Pass Service Centre for MOM! Right now, I'm working at O'learys @ Singapore Flyer only when there is event. So its like a once or twice a week kind of job.

As such, the main focus right now will be thinking of how to impress my application through for the IDA in less than 1 month time and to prepare for some modules which will help me greatly in my poly education!

Til then , I'm Gerald and BYE!

The Twilight

2009-12-26T14:00:00.003+08:00

Yep, this is indeed the Twilight season not the TWILIGHT SAGA SERIES.

I'll explain it but first of all,

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Together with the season of giving, this period of time is actually the twilight zone before the dawn of the new year 2010 ahead!

This is the time where we evaluate the good and bad we've been through this year. Be it ahievement or failure I think it doesn't really matter much anymore because its over! Its good to recount on those interim successes you may have seized, but an over appreciation for past ahievement may well impair your future. On the other end, its not healthy to dwell on the negativity that might have happened as well.

So what am I getting at?

I'm so so so glad that I've soon in 5 to 6 days more conquered this year.

Anyway, I think this year is the one of the many many more challenging year yet I've been through. For starters, its the O' levels; its really the first time that I've really studied hard and did what I'm supposed to. Then the rest of the stuffs ranged from family issues to handling of bigger responsibility as student leader to disappointments here and there. Through all of these "hard" times what is the only outcome? You only emerge stronger as a person!

Carpe Diem! Seize all the opportunity you have in the coming year!

Have an awesome year ahead!

Just to side track, I recently heard a true story that I'm really touched. I figured this is a good time for me to share with you guys and also for me to keep a record in the archive.

So here it goes:

Now there was a prison in asia. This prison was holding a sporting event for all the inmates for all the long term prsioners who have spent more than 20 years incarcerated. They have decided to have a day of reunion for the inmates and their families. So all their family members were invited. Now, if you serve a prison term of more than 20 years usually it means you must be a serious criminal.

On that day, the entire prison ground was like a carnival. Families were reunited after decades! They were all eating and laughing; having so much fun with each other's company. But the highlight of the day was the final game, the final event. The prison inmates were going to carry their parents on their back and run one round the track.

As the final game was about to start, the whole atmostphere in the prison ground began to change. It got quiet and solemn. The parents didn't want to be carried because they look at the weak and thin bodies of their sons who had been imprisoned for so long. How could they want their son to carry them? The prison guards nonetheless proceeded with the game. He blew the whistle "beep!" and the race started.

However, not a single inmate was running hard. It was a strange race because the players tried to reach the finishing line as slowly as possible although the fastest one was going to win the prize. They all wanted to go slowly because for most of them this could be the last time they could touch their parents, kiss their parents, hug their parents. They do not want the moment to end. They don't want the race to stop. They wanted to prolong the process as much as possible.

There was a mother who kept wiping away the tears of her son although she couldn't even wipe away her own tears. There was a father who couldn't even be carried on the son's back because the son was so frail and so weak. None of them wanted the first prize. What they wanted was to extend their moments together for as long as possible even for a few more seconds longer. Soon the entire field was filled with tears.

Everyone in society have deserted them because they were hardcore criminals and they were locked away. But the love of their parents for them never changed. The love of their parents for them was confirmed that day! Their parents love them as much as before they went to jail, as much as they were when they were kids. The love of their parents for them was as great as the day that they were born!"

Hope you like it!

Til then I'm off :D

Life never gets softer

2009-12-13T18:08:00.003+08:00

What a title!

Yep, it gets harder by day; from transition to transition.

I'm now two weeks into my working life as a part-timer and all I could say is that I've already grown weary of this kind of lifestyle. When you start working, its true that you're making money but at the same time your expenses shoots up like mad too. Food prices are up and transport included too. What I hate most about my job is the "getting to work from home" process.

The working environment where I'm confined in reeks of negativity all over. Most of the people are short tempered, uncivilised and do not take pride in their work. Well, what can we expect? Most of the people working nowadays do not quit because they have well become slave of finances.

However, just like anything that we do in life. The roots of it is sheer bitterness but the fruits of it is sweet. We just have to keep pressing on and keep on keeping on. This has caused me to realise more that money is not easily earned and at the same time learn how to better manage it wisely. Thank goodness I've conquered two weeks of work and half a month's pay is coming up real soon! Two more weeks more to go and I'm off!

Come to think of it I really miss my secondary school life a lot! I miss how we could all have fun during recess time in a big group together instead of having lunch alone. I miss the atmosphere of non-serious politics that could be gotton over easily. I miss how we get to exercise our brains rather than doing very routine stuffs like a machine. I miss P.E where we use to have our ball games rather than sitting down all day long. I really miss how I could have enough time on my computer and work hard for studies simultaneously rather than not having any time and not being productive at all. I really really miss all of my friends and teachers!

I feel I've really gone down a level intellectually. During those day-dreaming when no one is around moment at work. I tried forming a few A.Maths questions which might be wrong and I don't even know how to solve them already. This was what Mr Chew, my mum and many others said, its not all about the content but its about the critical thinking process.

Well well well, all of these would have to wait to be proven. For now, my main burden is the release of O' level results. I'm picturing too many what if's and what if's situation, and I'm really starting to get real fearful of it. Well some of you would say, "Hello? Are you kidding me Gerald? ". On the contrary, I've gone through a lot myself to know that there are no absolutes.

Wordy post? Well, the days of pictorial posting is over for now already.

Kissing goodbye to my once active and averagely 55 unique readership per day statistic blog!

Genesis

2009-11-13T21:36:00.008+08:00

Hey ALL!

Behold, the day . . we've been longing !

AND

I'm proud to say that what we've suppose to prepare for four years is now done and over!

This is a cliche but it never fails to surprise me, time flies! I still remember I had an English teacher back in Sec 1 days. She told us not to think the days to O levels is forever and four years would just past so fast; by the time you know it you are already in the exam hall.

THATS exactly what went through my mind when I sat for my English Paper right on the very first day!

Well here are my thoughts for this year's O levels. For starters, I think the schedule really made life miserable for most candidates. First week, the first was English paper obviously and followed by "THE MATH ARMAGEDDON"; where we have E.Math P1, P2 and A.Math P1, P2.

The obvious thing to do will be to practice the math like crazy a week before and I DID THAT! Gosh, I've never really done my E.Math before and I'm proud to have completed at least 3/4 of the TYS I bought! The trend for math is that its always easy and tricky but yet the A1 cut off always remain high. For A.math my A1 is ruled out, I only got 75% maybe a A2 or B3 at best? Only those elites up there get their A1s. For E.math I still stand some chances though.

Here's why the schedule made life miserable. Guess what? The second week or should I say by the last day of the first week when I tried revising SCIENCES, it seemed like I've totally lost touch with it! To make things worst, the science papers was coupled together with elective humanities; subjects like Geography and Social Studies. These two subjects, I studied with my fingers crossed!

I employed the spotting and studying smart "thang" and it worked in some ways but yet I think it was screwed anyway. For Social Studies, I only studied and memorised for one theme Globalisation. For any normal SS student, tell that to them and they will tell you its suicide! Well, my spot was correct and for those many many people out there who studied VENICE, C'est La Vie. For Geography, I felt like I wasn't sitting for my syllabus at all. High weightage questions came out but never learnt before and no map work! Combined Humanities, a B4 at best?

YEAP! This was the last paper I sat for today!

It ended with MCQs. I think I got a 37/40?

1 mark above the national's average, secured A1? I'm not sure. But I did my best!

Frankly speaking, I already burnt out since the second week of papers and the studying level wasn't as vigorous as the week before Os.

This just meant I've prepared sufficiently wayyyyyyy before!

RIGHTT!

Enough of the wordy post!

What sort of pictures do you expect from O levels yea?

I believe I'll be filled with satiation when I get back the result next year! Minimally L1B4 would be at 15 and the best 7? I'm aiming real hard to get below 11 and I'm confident; wish me best of luck!

And here's giving credit where credit it due to see me through my Os!

Thank you Atikah Ali for the calculator!

I'll return it to you real sooooon!

Til then , I'm out xD

26 days more to Genesis!

2009-10-17T22:24:00.004+08:00

Yes!

26 days more!

Look closely, its not the date of O's, but the coming of the end!

Oh, I really look forward to the coming of it; tonnes and tonnes of paper waiting to be recycled. Its like what the title says, Genesis! Me coming into being again!

Anyway just in case you're mistaken, nope I'm not declaring I'm done studying. Since I thought that today was quite a fruitful day, i'm just taking a little short break that I have to update a bit.

Well, as always I hate to be in the position I'm in. It's as though all of these "burdens" should be on me when it really shouldn't be the case.

Anyway, the start of Genesis will also be the end of Shannon. Well, he's been staying with me for more than half a year now and in just two weeks time, he will not be anymore.

I really want to thank him for being such a nice tenant; being able to put up with me. I know I'm someone not really many could stand being with, even in school and what more staying together? And guess what!? Trust me, we've never once even so called "quarrelled" before. With him around, there is at least someone just a table away almost 24/7 from me that I could be human with. Otherwise, i'mma pure loner. So thanks a lot bro!

He once asked me, when there wasn't anyone around except the two of us; if I don't feel lonely like this and what more if he wasn't around. Being the ME that I am, I always have an answer. However, during the time I was like totally caught offguard, I didn't know what to answer.

Pathetic yep? Well, so like what you always said,

"live with it"

And I believe like what Mr Adnan said,

"If you think the condition you are caught in is that bad, there are even people worst than you"

No idea why I have to deal with the trouble
when I've created none for all of you
when will the pushing of responsibilities stop?
Its really time to own it and give it manzx
I'm just an ordinary 16 year old kid after all,
just as humane as everyone else

2009-09-12T14:17:00.002+08:00

"Even when you're struggling and everyone have given up on you, don't give up. Don't ever give up on yourself"
Barack Obama

PRESS ON! You can do it Gerald! Don't give up,

45 days. .

Jaded

2009-08-28T23:53:00.003+08:00

An imminent deadline looming,
the finishing line so nigh.
Weary of the routine round round the loop.
Staring at the words, the words,
So lifeless but yet necessary.
Equations, theories, formulae,
Words words and words revolves.
Longing for the satiation, where the pay off comes. .

One and only 16

2009-08-01T12:41:00.007+08:00

Hey all!

Back to blog about my BIRTHDAY!

It falls on the 28th July and its some time very close to the new month but remains yet in the same month. This is the period that most people slog through, awaiting to the new month where pockets are replenish.

Here's giving out my BIGGEST THANKS to every one that had contributed to my BRITHDAY, from taking the effort sending me wishes all the way to planning the "SURPRISE"! Its very much appreciated and all of it make a difference to me.

I'm glad to say that I've such a bunch of AWESOME friends around me and its really really such a blessing and honour that I've been made known to them! People that made CARDS SPECIALLY for me and also those that gave me PRESENTS! It really didn't occurred to me that there are people who would even go to the extend of CUSTOMISING a CAKE for me! Tell me how COOL is that!?

Anyway talking about the celebration, we went to "SAKAE SUSHI" at Causeway Point to CHILL OUT! At first I thought it will just be the standard few of us going out for a meal but it turned out that I UNDERESTIMATED.

People that went includes: Alan, Shannon, Qin Hui, Xiang Rong, Yue Ting, Alicia, Lionel, Bryan, Threvin, Colonel, Jian Peng, You Chuen and Chin Ann!

Quite a a big group of people RIGHT!? They were telling me that my birthday celebration seems to be one of the most "LONG ZHONG" ever.

This was the cake they made for me! Small in size but DEFINITELY COOOOOL!

Going to SAKAE, with the free WASABI going around the belt, its a sure chance that someone would be pranked on.

Indeed someone got tricked and it was none other than ME!

We sat in groups of 4 and 6 respectively, so they did the "WASABI" thingy at other table and passed over to Alicia. She wasn't feeling well and said she couldn't finish the UNAGI sushi, so I ate it and . . .

AHHHHHHHHH! It was filled full with WASABI! My face was totally clenched lahz, like "gek sai"(trying very hard to shit expression).

Luckily, no PICTURE OF THAT =)

We didn't have a real camera around, the picture quality wasn't quite the ideal standard. Nevertheless we still took some pictures!

I SERIOUSLY HAVE NO IDEA THIS POSE WAS MAKING FUN OF ANDIKA! I'm SORRY but still, NICE ONE ANYWAY! CHEERS =)

Friends, friends and friends..
but where is the place closer, like family?
Are you all dead and gone?
Sorry, Mum, but I don't miss you
father's no name you deserve.

The void that can't be filled

Gift Of A Friend

2009-07-23T23:18:00.005+08:00

Hey all!

Back to update a bit about my life once again.

These times, things are really not easy for me. I really hate the situation I'm caught in right now. Every choice and words I choose to say or do so right now is quite crucial, and if I happened to stumble upon the wrong choice of words, its finished. However, things seems to look better already. At least there isn't a need to feel all guard up now with fear in the air and to mingle in the indescribable frustrations. I finally feel a tinch of peace =D

Blessed are the peacemakers!

I went over to town today and met up with my mum for dinner to catch up on how things are going on. I'm glad at least some misunderstanding was cleared and we're able to spend some quality time together and well, it seems like its the first time things were like this. Kinda ironic though, having to travel to town to have meal togther for mother and son; and then part our ways after that.

Anyway, to the main point of this post. I really want to thank those of you that were there for me and those that care enough to leave note of encouragement, its very much appreciated! Its seriously not easy for me and other than my friends I seriously don't have anyone else to turn to for morale support. To all my friends, I love you!

And here's a song which is definitely appropriate, dedicated to all of you my friends out there! I'm sure you'll like it, even for your other friends out there!
PLEASE READ THE LYRICS!

Its a brand new song by Demi Lovato, Gift Of A Friend:

Irony and Uncertainties

2009-07-16T16:09:00.004+08:00

In the midst of O level Prelims exam now.

Just left with Add. Math, Chemistry, Physics paper 1 and POA papers til next Wednesday. Up until now, I would say its quite impossible to really score well this time round. Subjects like POA and Humans, I doubt I will barely make it. There is just insufficient time to prepare for papers that is not meant for O levels standard.

I'm feeling really drained mentally right now for the different things happening at once. For one, its the overwhelming Prelims and next, having to deal with sudden probable insane stuffs that might happen at home. Mum bid farewell just two days ago and she ain't coming back home for good anymore this time round. This is nothing too much for me as it makes no difference from usual. The bad news is what happens next at home. From what I heard, there are just things that will inflict the constant fear at the back of my head. Things like throwing the kids out of the window and stuffs. It sounds impossible but, you never know.

However, I think this is pretty much a necessary pain we have to go through. I'd rather go through hell for just a period, than to exprience distress everyday when I'm doing my work during the night. I could not stand the false hope that everytime when things seems so alright, and suddenly its hell once again.

I really don't know how all of this will end, but I really hope its gonna settle down real soon, especially when this is a crucial year for me. My studies is the only thing I have left in control with, which I'm gonna make the best out of it.

Sweet sixteen, what a nice gift to behold in irony; how "sweet" could it be?
My simple wish: Quickly get it over, signed and done with.

Now Is The Time

2009-07-03T18:29:00.010+08:00

Hey ALL!

New Term, New Hair =D

School has started and its now even nearing the dawn of O lvls. I really wish there were much more time than now to prepare for the upcoming prelims, which is like 10 days later.

I think I should be able to do pretty fine this time round, provided if I'm able to follow closely my personally calibrated "ultimate" time-table.

Well, I believe most of you would have noticed the ultra long post previously. It doesn't quite carry any meaning unless you try and look at the bigger picture, reading it differently.

I had my reasons for doing so and I did spent quite some time crafting it and making what I want to try express to look as hidden as possible. I succeeded. I Bet no one that I told to about of the "key" to the puzzle had been able to de-code the message.

Good for me, cos its meant to be like this, but I guess its pretty much pointless now already. I'd already know what I need to know about the truth and now, its time to move on.

Its a good lesson learnt to better communicate across properly to anyone and not always just assuming things to be as it is. It certainly sucks a lot to realise you've always been waiting and hoping for the wrong reasons than the right ones.

Now I really am convince that it definitely pays to be observant and thoughrough with your surroundings, and one day you will find out about what you never thought could be true. Though, there are really many things I don't understand of but I believe all of these could have been avoided only if it was communicated just right from the start.

Hurt? Well, definitely yes. This kind of laceration can't really be contained, if you know what I'm talking about. Seems like this kind of things, always ends up like this for me.

C'est La Vie - everybody lies.

Anyways, I've been thinking quite a lot about stuffs and got my thinking straight. Since whatever that is, is the case, then letting go will be the best. No room for grudge and resentment but I'm not sure about guilt, its beyond my control. However, judging from what has been so far, I think guilt shouldn't be a problem for you. At the end of the day, we do not want to force happiness yea?

What goes around comes back around though.

Here's wishing the best for your desires =)

Peace

25 more days!

What You See Is What You Get

2009-06-18T23:56:00.004+08:00

The plot of The Matrix is unbelievable, mind blowing and enlightening, sometimes.
It is a movie put up together by the Wachowski brothers almost like ten years back. I

thought that the visual effects shown in the movie, ten years back was incredible. I Doubt

anyone who have yet watched The Matrix, will believe it was first shown in 1999. Isn’t it

amazing visual effects were already that advanced in the past, like the present day? But

ten years have gone by and what we now see in present day hasn’t really changed. I

have no idea why there haven’t been big improvements made from the past and am

wondering what could have stifled the lack of progression for the better. It’s convinced

me that whenever good progression is made, it’s hard for human to get over it just right.

They tend to turn complacent and will usually be overjoyed by their interim success now;

they could not transit to the next phase of life. A saddening weakness of man that I’m

sure most of you could relate to, I think. However, I deeply believe in my heart that in

this weakness, mankind could still find favor in life. Other than all the success in life, love

is the captivating power that keeps things moving. Something you should agree with

me, if I’m not wrong. Imagine you already achieved all the goals that, from start you

had already set out for; maybe world domination or even ownership to everything and

any material stuffs that exist. Trust me, at the end of it only the feeling of emptiness will

be the end result. You just have to spend some time thinking about it and it will not do

you any bad. What’s your purpose here? Is it fate or destiny? Or is it just taking whatever

which was given to you? If your purpose is just only to achieve then you would have it

all figured that life is actually quite meaningless. After all, there is just that much to take

with you in one lifetime. Anyway, in the movie; The Matrix, nothing that we ever lived to

see is real. Everything about the twenty-first century was an illusion world. What could be

true about life might just be as delusional as it is. “The Matrix” is the fake world that with

time, the AI had almost made it foolproof. Weird as it is but what is life? Everything you

had felt and experienced were just merely electric signals from your brain.

The real world is situated from around the year 2136. The AIs had dominated what you

now see as Earth. With you, dead in a virtual world would mean that your brain have

already died in the real world. It made sense right? Without the brain in our heads, no

one could function as they did. The real world humans then, had the rights and reason

to resist the AIs from what should have been rightfully theirs. Some would travel back to

“The Matrix” and wake some potential individual from their delusion and they believed

in due time, the savior to the human race would be found. Confusing it seemed to me

at first. I could not understand what the plot was at first and it kept me in suspense, but

as I continued watching on; I understood what the plot was all about. Moving on, I

somehow thought that the directors were quite philosophical. Throughout, they have

been saying that where we see coincidence, they see consequence. And it’s been

repeated over again and again that some things are just inevitable. The Agents doing

their job to serve the AI’s purpose; keeping human in delusion had come across what

they call an anomaly in “The Matrix”. For the first time in the illusion world, a human you

never imagined to be; defeated and stopped an Agent from pursue. What he wanted

initially was just to find out about this person called Morpheus. He’d done it and trust me

he really made a hell of a choice. He is none other than the main character, Neo. To

say he was the ‘savior’ at first, really sounded unbelievable. He was not even able to do

half of what he eventually was capable of, without the epiphany of the truth. Lo and

behold, he now understands the essence of “the matrix”. All he needed was keeping

the fact that everything in “The Matrix” isn’t real; and this was when even the promised

law of physics failed in the “reality”.

I hope no one is really reading all of contents I have wrote above. It means nothing it’s

just some random thoughts running through my mind to piece something that I’d been

longing to express since aeons ago. However, it could not be done openly without nine

hundred words. There isn’t a lot of time left for me now to ponder much; it’s but months

to ‘O’ Levels and time really flies. I really hope I had much more time to prepare and

get ready for the prelim exams coming in 24 days. I know it doesn’t make sense and my

thoughts in all these are too much for me not to vent. I’d remembered how much I love

to make my post in essays form in the past. It was always boring and all philosophical for

most people. I guess these writings make no sense at all, especially when none of you

or me actually understands why things happen the way they happened. We will only

find the true meaning for ourselves when we, as humans have chosen the way to grow

and look beyond needs, but purpose. This is really crazy and I know that I know that you

think that I’ve reached the stage where thinking too much applies. Well, who never

thinks? What is the measure of over thinking? Nope, no one knows. This is where we fail

once again; our weakness. By the way, for all you know everything that we learnt from A to

Z might be wrong. All is based on assumed work by humans. One plus one may appear

to be two. Ask yourself, why not three? Who defines all of these? Why so complicated in

all of these you ask, but why not? That’s life I guess, and it’s never easy, but I still do my

best in everything that I can in my ability. This is one way I have, to achieving dreams

that I set out for.

Summing it all up, Neo the ‘savior’, eventually managed to save the real world. I

believe his failure from the start was all due to his identity crisis. Neo could not really

accept that he will be “the one” to release the remaining from bondage. Who’d want

to carry the weight of the world upon himself? It was actually a lie made up in a bid to

keep those alive in the real world in hope. Nothing was predestined to say who will be

“the savior”. Someone just had to believe he/she is able to do it. I’m going to share with

you my personal experience in a camp. My body literally turned to a steel rod and you

would not believe it unless you see it with your eyes. It all lies in our mind.

I think this is really one movie that had made me think a lot and I really

love to relate this kind of movie to my life, in deep thoughts and penning it down.

You think its all pointless and wasteful of time but I think its all worthwhile afterwards

when you see the end result.

Gerald

"Holiday!"

2009-06-02T10:19:00.005+08:00

Hey guys!

I Bet this is the most "delightful" month for most of you out there, as we are in the midst of JUNE school "HOLIDAYS"!

What's up with the inverted commas you ask. Well for starters, this holiday is meant for all Sec 4s taking O' Levels to MUG hard and prepare, as opposed to playing all day long!

Anyway, I'm back here once again to give a really SHORT update.

Last week was the last week of Term 2 and it also marked the end of 1st semester in our school. We received our report books and all I can say is, I really need to IMPROVE well in the area of my language, especially English. It caught me off as an irony for me to score better in my Chinese than English which should have been the opposite, if you've known me personally.

The rest of the subjects were okay, just that we all really need to work more on Amath. Most people dropped from their distinction in AM to getting just a C5 and I'm one of them.

So here's the summary of my Mid-year Exam:

EL: C6
AM: C5
CL: B4
COMB HUMANS: B4

EM: B3
PHY: A2
POA: A2
CHEM: A1

L1B4: 14

FYI: I'm using the score of prelims for EL and CL to reduce discrepancy.

You would have noticed a drop from my previous reportbook which features a L1R4 of 8. Well, the drop could be attributed to subjects like Maths and Language. However, I'm still quite satisfied that I did well for Physics and still managed to sustain my Chemistry and POA results.

Alright now, moving on..

Saturday

As promised to Ming Zhen, Lionel and me went to the mini-EMERGE conference 2009 to support her on a cheerleading programme call "Parade of Schools".

I really enjoyed myself through out day and its really different from what I would have expected it to be. The people I met with are really changed as compared to the past impressions I had. It's really incredible when you are able to see change happening like this. I really love hanging out with you guys, a really really cool cellgroup!

Thanks Ming Zhen for the invitation! You showed me something that was different than what my mind comprehends. Next time yea?

Monday

Everyone of you will now be thinking, "Gerald, are you seriously out of your mind?" Its actually O' lvl for Mother Tongue and you could spend your time out there instead of studying for chinese!

Well well well, language isn't really something you could master overnight or even over weeks. For the past 8 days of mother tongue intensive, which produces work equivalent to that of 1 semester of any Sec3 CL students, I felt its quite enough for me already.

Seriously speaking, what we mainly study on are topics in the news and internalising those informations and points of those hot topics. Mainly what's the problem, why it happened, what influence it has and how it can be solved. All of these could be done through logical and rationale thinking and we all know that what we read and write isn't actually true anyway. If those problems could be solved that easily by giving those 3 points, there will be world peace now.

Therefore, during the morning while everyone was still all nervous and afraid of the MT papers, I was there trying to relax and think through that there will be one burden lifted off me after today.

Which brings me to this...

I'm HAPPY that MOTHER TONGUE : CHINESE is finally OVER!

Well, after the papers we went over to causeway point to catch Terminator Salvation!

Its really an AWESOME show that I think everyone of you should turn your heads to! It features AMAZING sound effect and its an action-packed movie! Go on and choose Terminator, if you're planning on movies during the holidays!

TODAY

RIGHT! This is the main reason why I'm posting now where I should be trying to complete my English assignment. Well, in line with school's official opening of the Environment Education Hub, we've caught hold of some media attention.

Together with JingJing, we've been going around for certain interviews and etc. Jingjing got herself in the papers on yesterday's Lian He Zao Bao.

And today, the TODAY's newspaper actually featured an article about both of us and the school!

It's titled "Coffee with two young 'champion' "

http://www.todayonline.com/pdf_main.asp?pubdate=20090602

Deluded. .

2009-05-27T22:42:00.004+08:00

There and then,
I wish I was wrong...

What happened just prove otherwise.
Deluded I am, living in delusion.
Companions I have, now it seemed so bleak...

Condemned am I to the likeness in my face

I guess humans do possess the rights to feel?

UPDATES UPDATES

2009-05-23T11:39:00.009+08:00

HEY WORLD!

Here I am, back once again to UPDATE!

Its REALLY been a while, around 1 month since I last updated! This post will summrise my highlights of the month, May. It is quite a HAPPENING ONE, considering the amount of day left to O LVLs!

Well, I'm sorry to say but the frequency at which i'm gonna update is gonna get lower and lower, so pardon me if you manage to catch some flies xD

So lets begin right from the start of the month!

7th May

Well as the pictures says it, it was Shannon's Birthday!

This year's celebration is really what I call a celebration manzx. For the past 3 years, it was just gift giving and then verbal wishing but there weren't really much of the "partying" part.

This year what's different was, Shannon is staying over at my house and we get to hang out all day long till late night!

I don't know how many have realised but he's actually a tenant over at my house! We've been coming to school together and stuffs, so don't speculate no more!

The view over at the Esplanade bay was SPECTACULAR YO! We saw many couples spending their dates over there and the ambience was really awesome! So next time, if you've run out of places and have nothing better to do, you know where to look out for huh?

Anyway, just some quick mention. We went over to dine at "Waraku", a Jap restaurant suggested by Foo Chuan Wei. You can't see him in any of the pictures. For some reason, he just hates having himself in soft copy! Lionel, Xiangrong, Qinhui and me got Shannon a Zinc Bag, while FCW treated Shannon the meal.

The bowl they served was really HUGE! I would rate the restaurant "okay" only. Its somewhat too pricey and the food ain't really that fantastic as well. Imagine 3 small pieces of RAW SALMON cost 8 BUCKS!
Well, I really treasure the moment we had yo! This could be the last year or maybe last time of such outings already. Its sec 4 and its O lvl, once we graduate and BAM! I believe most people around me will be gone! So this year, do try to engage yourself in as much activities as possible. These people you see around you might not be there anymore once this year is over.

Don't be sad... People come and people go! That's LIFE YO!

16th May

So this is yet another birthday celebration; and its none other than Kam Lin's!

Basically, we met at Causeway Point that saturday morning and proceeded over to Upper Thomson for the lunch! We ate at "Kim's place" if I've not remembered wrongly and all I could say is, I MADE THE WRONG ORDER! Other than that, I thought the food over there was generally not bad.

HEY! This was really a RANDOM PIC! I was trying out Marcus' brand new test camera and I was... should I say LUCKY? =X

Alright, so that summerises that first part of the day! The 2nd part of the day was just watching the movie, "the Uninvited" over at BISHAN J8 GV. I thought the 2nd part of the day was quite a drag as more people got together but still, things went on!

We had around 15 or 16 people together and WOW! When big groups comes together, everybody look manzx!

21st May
And so it was, together with Jingjing we've reached the final lap! On the 21st of May, Official opening of MSL's Environment Education Hub, marks the last Emcee for us in MSL and also duty for major events, being an Environment Champs!

Our efforts were paid off! The event ran smoothly and we got praises here and there! I'm really glad I did not screw it up, as I did previously with other few public appearance.

I've worked with her quite a few times before and in comparison to the past, I think we've come quite far together in terms of the working spirit! It was fun working togther with JingJing, there's practically all the stuffs to talk about and to make fun of! Sorry for the "irritating" part of me, but thats how jokes come about yea? xD

I still remember the first few times meeting together to practice, we had to correct many of our pronunciation and dictions. It was indeed very tiring, especially this week! Rehearsals and rehearsals and PRACTICE.

In addition, the Sec 4 express is also having MT O lvl Intensive studies. So really, it was really very mind and body draining!

To JingJing: " You're really an AWESOME Emcee, leader and working partner! And most importantly, I will never forget about the HEELS, STOOL where your feet rest on, and your ENERGY and WATER! HAHAHAs!"

Like Finally..

2009-05-03T17:20:00.004+08:00

Hey World!
I'm back right here to blog about the recent happenings yo!
Hmm... Actually there isn't really much of any happenings to update about too.

Right, so I realised its been quite a while since I went out to town to shop, to walk, to whatever, you name it. I literally missed taking the MRT and travelling in Singapore!

So in line with Mother's day we assumed to be this Sunday, we went out to TOWN to CHILL and also not forgetting getting mother's day gift as a good reason to hang out. Anyway, I went to check and found out that Mother's Day is always celebrated on the 2nd Sunday of May in Singapore. Interesting huh? Different countries actually celebrate it at different dates.

Right, have anyone ever realised how hanging out in big groups ends up with people breaking into smaller cliques?

Yesterday, was the one day that only the 4 of us hung out mainly at BUGIS!

ME Lionel Xiang Rong

Qin Hui

Notice the guy at the back?! LOLS Using full resolution photo at 5Mp, we can actually form a photo of himself, totally what the hell @.@.

So next time, do not think that just because the lense is not actually facing you, you're off the capture.

Where we went to:

Actually we planned to go Orchard to do the shopping.

However, since I wanted to get something from Sim Lim Square, so we headed to Bugis instead! Our main objective was to get mother's day gift but they ended up accompanying to purchase my COOLERMASTER V8.

You shall find out later what exactly it that!

After rounds and rounds of walking about.....

I FINALLY decided on getting a book for my mum.

Really an interesting book, it explains the human mind and the process at which human actually rationalize about stuffs. Things like why do our headaches persists after taking cheap painkillers but eases off after taking expensive painkillers?

Interesting huh? Well, if you have an interest in reading people, this book is highly recommended to you!

The rest of the people got wallet/purse for their mums FYI!

And SO IT HAS COME!

COOLER MASTER V8 Finally after 1 months of my CPU suffering with Intel Stock HSF, I've gotten myself a aftermarket HSF! Its none other than Coolermaster V8 once again. Yes the iteration! Its really a cool product and by cool I mean LITERALLY COOL!

For all those PC builders and Overclockers out there, I highly recommend this if you're aiming for decent Air cooling with budget > SGD$80. Its able to keep my CPU at stock speed 2.8 Ghz at 35C and load at 49C. With Overclock at 4.01GHz its idles at 45C and loads at average 70C-75C. Still not that low for temps but mind you its 4.01GHz!!!

The installation is kind of troublesome but trust me its all worth while. I actually took out my whole motherboard to mount it to the back @.@.

And YEA! This is the final RESULT:

Looks much better than how it looked before!

And Right,

CONGRATULATE ME!

I succeeded a STABLE OVERCLOCK AT 4.01 GHZ with Core 2 Quad Q9550!

Til then, ME Signing OFF =X

2009-04-25T21:19:00.005+08:00

Hey there!

Well, lets see...

Right, this few weeks had been quite a busy one for everyone, or at least myself. All the stuffs ranging from SYF, choir practices, common tests, rushing of syllabus, Earth week and homeworks to the transition of my mobile line.

So, for starters, lets talk about this particular CCA I joined since Sec 1.

Lo and behold, we got Bronze as I've expected and foreseen for SYF.

To be honest, the little passion I still hold for choir actually vanished the day when I was the only guy left. For one, its really weird and I think I'm practially a living joke in school.

Once there's this new staff in school and the very first conversation he initiated with me was,

"Hey! aren't you the guy that is the only guy in choir?"

Wow! How encouraging can it get?

Anyway, I can't really sing smooth in the Soprano section. Its seriously damn unfruitful and I really felt like my time is wasted. I estimate the time wasted and it all adds up to about a 100 hours. My goodness, this 100 hrs could really help me in the lack of sleep.

Also, since I'm the only guy. Those practices could really get very boring and this really motivates me from compromising my attendance.

My point is...

THIS WEEK MARKS THE END OF CHOIR IN MY LIFE! WHOO! AND MY LIFE WILL NO LONGER BE WASTED AWAY OFFICIALLY!

Next up, its about My studies!

Well, I'm really really DAMN GLAD that even when all things could go wrong, my studies remains the one that stays consistent.

Here are some good reports, I actually got 1st in Physics test for the first time, 34/35! For Chemistry its a 29.5/40, still managed to get A2.

However, for Amath there had been a slight drop and I'm kinda lacking behind already.
Now that I can have a PEACE of mind not wasting 5 hrs everyweek, I think there should be no problem anymore. =)

Next, its EARTH WEEK!

I practically made appearance everyday of this week!

Things were somehow not where it was supposed to be here and there, and most importantly I really think I messed up bigtime last Wednesday morning. It came to me quite hard and tears were practically all around my eyeballs, I struggled hard to keep it in place.

Whatever the case, whats done cannot be undone, so I'll just have to live with it.

Its becoming more evident to me that some times or even maybe all the time, life sucks and thats just live and we just gotta move on with it. How many agree with me?

Even my ex vice-principal said that, what else could hold true?

Alright, enough about it!

So talking about my mobile line...

I believed for those that still keep in close contact with me had already been informed about my change in number.

With the change of number, I had also changed my phone to F480!

For those we wants my number, either get it from me in school or in msn!

Me Signing OFF =X

Redemption

2009-04-09T19:59:00.004+08:00

Hey GUYS! Wassup yo!
Right! From the picture above you would have guessed that NG QIN HUI birthday had just passed and I'm sorry for the LATE LATE update about it! xD

So we went over to celebrate together at Ajisen Causeway point. Its kind of a hectic week for us I remembered, ergo we just met up in our vicinity right after school. Well, together with Kai Leng we "spon" NQH the MEAL.

And the chinese saying goes " There's no free lunch in the WORLD!"

RIGHT! Kind of agree with it too manzx. When you receive things from people, it means you've earned it and deserve it. So next time, don't reject people's goodwill. When anyone feel glad to give, BE GLAD TO RECEIVE!

Though its not really much of anything we've done for a KICKASS celebration but I'm glad I did something for, I could say one of my BEST BEST BEST FRIEND! She is one person that understands me and know how I think. When we get together, there is just endless things we can talk about! (Opps... Is it gossiping? @.@)

NEXT NEXT NEXT

Well ANYWAYS

the other major update for me will of course be my NEW DESKSTOP!

I've actually planned for to build a computer since last year and all along I cant manage my budget well. So I got sponsorship from both parents amounting to around $680 and then paid the rest myself.

In total, it costs me around $1300. So do the math if you want to know how much I forked out myself.

I practically got my stuffs part by part and assemble it all by myself. Well, call me a comp geek for all you want but I just love comp tech stuffs and it ROCK!

For those of you that are INTERESTED!

Here's my System Specification:

Windows Vista™ Home Premium
Intel(R) Core (TM)2 Quad CPU Q9550 @ 2.83GHz

3.25GB RAM

ATI Radeon HD 4850 GDDR3 512 MB, 625/990MHz Core Clock

ASUS P5q Motherboard

Hitachi 500 GB HDD

Well, What can I say ? I guess just a complete status on the surface doesn't make thing better yea? I'd rather we have peace and happiness than having to stay unhappy because of some obligation. Life goes on as usual and I'll just live with it by having just a little faith for things to go on well.

2009-03-28T09:49:00.002+08:00

Yea and now what?

Everybody just walks out of the house and all the responsibility gets thrown to me?

DAMN, it seemed like whatever things I'm associated with, it will ultimately screw up.

Am I a SCREWED up person?

I highly doubt so...

On the contrary, my predicament tells me otherwise....

I've just screwed up the performance yesterday.

I've screwed up my studies last year and I'm betting it will be soon this year.

I've screwed up with pursuing the only one person that I would ever want to do so much for.

I've screwed up as a son to my parent.

I've screwed up as a leader, nothing always goes as planned and thereby failing in the monitoring, ergo causing a surge of failing domino from the top and even myself.

I've screwed up as a friend. All these while, I simply just cant symphathise with others problem. When I looked at mine and compare, and yet I'm still doing fine outwardly, man I always want to tell them "that's life". However, I'm gonna tell myself that's life and it suck big time.

I've screwed up as a 2nd elder brother in my family. I'm really to busy to care for my own lil bro and sis, thats really just excuses. Its when you love, you give. You give your time and your sacrifices, why can't I just love.

I've screwed up as a student. Why can't I just do everything as told and accordingly to all my teachers?

I've screwed up as a Soprano singer. It just takes so much effort for me to sing like a real soprano would sing and I just cant adapt, even so after for nearly a year.

I've screwed up as a member of Church. Really a great place to be but I'm a disappointment to my leaders. Not many of you know it but I've left church already. I have my reasons and I ain't going back.

And Now, I've got a screwed up family...

Tell me, how would you feel if when every night you try to study for your tests and do your work, and your parents never fail to not quarrel every night?
Tell me, how would you respond if your dad told you its finished, once I'm cleared of bankruptcy I will divorce?
Tell me, what will you do if your mum wrote you to take care of the house and stuffs, while she will be away but still providing the funds and that she's gonna fight over for us, the house and then divorce? What happens?
I will be the one going to the market.. I will be the one giving pocket money to lil sibilings.. I will be the one checking their work.

Damn, I really don't know how long more I can take it. Everyday I'm already tired enough and now this...

You ask me how did I managed to get that kinda score last term? Well, one thing I'm uncommon with the rest. I don't sleep so much more than all my friends.

Maximise your time though.

Quick One!

2009-03-14T08:17:00.003+08:00

Hey ALL!

I'm back after 2 WEEKS of hiatus

Here I go bringing once again another good academic report of mine!

Alright, so it was the parents teacher conference yesterday. We were suppose to call our parent along in order for us to receive our report book. Its only for the Sec 4 and 5 or else I bet the school's gonna flop upside down.

So after a very very long time and for the very first time!

My Mum actually came to my school to meet with my teacher!

Why so HIGH about it you ask?

Well, like I've said its kinda seriously the 1st time in my life my parent met with any of my teacher! And its on a POSITIVE NOTE!

How POSITIVE?

Right!Let me explain...

In my class, only 6 out of 35 people managed to get an all passed for their subjects. And I'm actually in that category!

Also, I've been putting my focus to really those subjects I think I can do well, its mainly the "MATH" type and also Chemistry! So its also the first time I'm scoring an A1 for Amath and Chem!

Which resulted in my L1B4..... also L1R4 for my course to be a: 8! xD

WOW! My target was actually only 13 or 12 for me to get into the course in SP, this really gave me a sigh of relief YO!

Subjects like Physics, Comb Humans and Chinese, I have decided I should at least get a "B" even though I know it wont be used but "C" doesn't really look nice in the O lvl Cert with those "A's". LOLS =X

SO wish me GOOD LUCK in the future!

Right Right Right...

Now its really some update about my life for the week!

LOOK AT THIS GUY!SO who's he?

He's NONE other Than SHANNON TAY!

He's been one of my, I could say close friend since Sec 1 through Sec 4. In the span of this week, from monday to thursday actually. Shannon had been staying over at my house!

So we eat together, sleep TOGETHER (Same Room, Diff Bed) , study together and even.......

NAHzZ, we don't BATH TOGETHER, I cancelled out the "G" for the "TAY"

One of the days, we actually had problem waking up in time and ended up cabbing to school!
I told him to set the alarm at his phone as I might slipped off mine and then he refused, AND TADA we woke up at 6.50 am one tuesday morning.

Its only this week uh, I was really packed and packed and really really SHAQ...

From monday to friday... Only wednesday I got to back home after curriculum time. The rest its all after 6 pm. There's Environmental Champ Sec1 interview on tues and thurs and choir practice on mon and fri.

As for shannon, he went back home everyday after lesson's finish for the day.

So all in all... I only went back TOGETHER with shannon on WED. The rest... I think my family members should be thinking,

"Hmmm.. this guy have not much of commitment after all huh?"
Look I really wish I could spend more time at home updating and relaxing... BUT I JUST CANT!
Now I'm already down with some serious FLU with a DAMN DAMN irritating sore throat!

It's just killing me but I'm glad I already am better now, in the morning.

My schdule for next week....(MARCH HOLIDAYS!)

Monday - Wed

Amath Lesson from 9 - 12 pm
Chem Lesson from 1pm - 4pm
Choir Practice from 4pm - 6pm

WOW!!!!! consecutively 3 days THE WHOLE DAY!

And on thursday there is CHOIR practice again...

On SAT! Another choir combined practice!
Hahahas but seriously out of all this, I think its really good preparation for me and it had already been a NORM for me.

People out there who still thinks you're stressed up!
You sure you don't want to re-evaluate again?

Hello? What are we all doing?

2009-02-26T00:03:00.004+08:00

Hey All!

Back to update a bit about my life and also an INTERESTING tech news, freshly made in SINGAPORE!

Alright! So talking about my life..

I think for this week, up til now at least, it had been quite a fast and fruitful one for me!

Well, for starters.. I don't know why but somehow people around me seemed to realise I've become very "HAPPY" in the way I carry myself. Say things like maybe a lil joke, I could really laugh my guts out. Also according to Fazlinda, because when she asked me about choir practice on Mondays I would usually give the "Sianz" expression; but just for this week I actually gave a "enthu" or "happy" respond!

Morale of the story?

Well, I guess...

HAPPINESS is indeed a choice!

So here's a good report of my AMATH from me to all:

I've done well, 23/25, a 92%
I'm now having this "sense of achievement" thing! This further motivates me to work harder even more for future tests and etc.

Alright alright, enough of my stuff!

Now its the time for the INTERESTING or maybe SHOCKING one for all of you.

GUESS WHAT?!

A 9 (Not a typo) year old kid, Singaporean, actually managed to create an iPhone app, Doodle Kids that allows you to paint on the iPhone using shapes like triangles, circles, squares made up of random colours and sizes!

And it was actually up in the itune store for sale!

YES NO KIDDING, CAN YOU IMAGINE IT!?

He's really one little genius. By the age of 3-4, he was already fluent in some of the most common computer progamming language use like C++/ C# etc.

For a more detailed description about this you can visit this blog link :

"http://theiphoneinsingapore.blogspot.com/2009/01/9-year-old-writes-iphone-app.html"

After I'm aware of this, I'm like thinking.

What have I been doing for the past 15 ++ years manzx!?

I think all of you should really think about it too!

Till then, Me Signing OFF =X

UPDATES!

2009-02-21T18:27:00.004+08:00

WHOOOOOOOooooo! I'm feeling GREAT NOW!
ITS FINALLY A SATURDAY!

And I WENT to FINALLY CUT MY HAIR!

I'm so glad that this hectic week is finally over and I actually conquered it!

It was a good end!

We've made it this way that every friday of the week, we will gather to have a game of Basketball. These people include,

Alan, Xiang Rong, Jian Peng, Andika, Colonel, Threvin, You Chuen, Qin Hui and Dominant!

Its like so damn fun uh! Every session will be so filled with laughter and fun!

What I'm really happy about is none other than...... A.MATH!

The day before the test, I really spent quite a large amount of time studying! From about 8 pm to 3 am! About 7 HOURS! I retried all those questions we've done and then do all those questions we've not touched to really know the topic well. INSIDE OUT! LOL

Then it was the test! I could say I did it with much ease! There could be careless mistake here and there, but other than that I believe I will do WELL for it!

Another thing will be, the Annual Genernal Meeting for Environmental Champions was finally held! Have been looking forward to it and then was worrying how was I gonna do it. Was glad that it did worked out quite smoothly! I haven't mentioned it before, I'm actually the head of this particular student leader group and hence the management of it. xD

MAN! I really want to do well for my O lvls! I actually found out about this IDA scholarship in our country that offers the course I want in SP! And then, in order for me to apply for it... I must have an outstanding O lvl result! I really have not idea what outstanding means, but I shall do my best!

This scholarship offers free education from Poly to Uni! And there's allowance every month and then when you graduate, you get to work in Government SECTOR, in the field of IT SECURITY! CAN YOU IMAGINE THAT?!

Well, Life's never easy!But but but.. I've made the decision, I'm just gonna try my very best to enlarge my capicity to handle stuffs and then what people will want to think about me or whether or not people actually care about me, that doesn't matter.

Its my LIFE!

I don't want circumstances to be controlling me instead of vice-versa!

Just appreciate and treasure what you have around you AND...

LIFE'S GREAT!

The 5th Craze

2009-02-18T22:51:00.004+08:00

Sometimes all it takes,

is just a pat at the back of the shoulder with, "C'mon, you can do it.."

Sometimes all you're looking out for,

is just for people to take a little interest, "What's up, how's life..?"

Sometimes all you long for,

is just a "Good job.. " at the end of something.

INSA

2009-02-17T01:48:00.003+08:00

Its been a while, doesn't matter though.

Last Sat was Valentine's day. Well, good day for all to hype up about but just any other ordinary day for me. Unsurprisingly, pretty much everybody was out there hanging out with friends and I wasn't invited to all of those "hang outs". When you are not called out, there are always reasons for it. Tagging along? Not my style.

Out of the pathetic situation coincidentally with Lionel, both of us actually planned to study Amath and do some homework together during the noon but ended up at Roy's house playing. I think thats really Lionel's last resort also, with me? Studying? Totally a no way to anyone.

P/S Only read whats below with an open mind. If you're offended, I'm sorry. It's my only source of venting.

"Why must the weather be that hot? Why must there be false hope hanging always? You guys wanna go separate just do it, don't freaking play any mind games. I can't stand it anymore and except for the finance, it doesn't make any difference to me either. One moment you all make it look its like all fine and the next, all hell break loose. So, what the hell? and who friggin gives a damn!? Whens the last time you guys actually gave a damn about my life which don't concern you a single bit at all? I bet you all don't even know my class, the subjects I'm taking and maybe even what I am.

In school, almost everyday I reach home only at 7pm. Go home, only continue to work more about school's stuff and work. Everday only sleeping for not more than 5 hours. Going to school with a irritating right headed nuisance through the day. And I get reply like this " You think only you tired uh?" " No use telling me", so What the hell?

And I always see people complaining about how stress they can get with so little stuffs going on, c'mon man! Enlarge ur friggin capacity! Whats the big deal with sleeping for 4 hrs before schoolday? I do that almost any other day and you don't see me going around with a trumpet ranting.

Try and be me for just one week! C'MON! Don't engage in any conversation sharing about yourselves for one week, only hav a total of less than 5 mins conversation with the total of ur family members. Have ur parents on the verge of separation while looking fine on the surface. Still continue doing whatever your parents ask you to do while acting like nothing has happened. Take 8 subjects and complete all due homework before its due. Sleep for only 5 hrs for 6 days. Coordinate and prepare all those meetings and make sure you have 18 people doing their jobs. Get all left out by all your friends, get misunderstood for showing off instead of helping, get no one to encourage you, get all those people you expect to remember your birthday to forget yours, get people to give you cold shouder when you try to correct something, get all the unrequited love, get into a position where getting involve is inapproriate but your heart tells you otherwise, but you still ultimately cant, because you're just not good enough,

And then look perfectly fine and good all day long when everyone is around! Smile and entertain everyone you see and really do it like you mean it! And still keep the focus on whatever focus there is to keep.
Have no idea how long more I can take it, maybe it should get worst.. So when I look back I can then appreaciate the past?

So what? Look at my title, C'est La Vie! That's life and at least for now it kinda sucks.

Arab English
"Insa!" = "Too Effin' bad!"

Loser's Creed

2009-02-11T20:16:00.003+08:00

I ran for the race,
through the four craze,
for the end grace
to the great prize

Anticipating to fail,
Cracking to excuse,
Looking as though its fine
as though quiting its prime

To the end grace, to the great prize
The pride it is, my rational is ripe,
All is glad, my decision is nigh
In the end, my fantasy indeed

Its like wishing to fly, jumping to try
Never a crime, always a dork
Ain't love end goals,
always moron?

Deep down the soul, I wish I could try
Wish to take back, all that was said
Pointless it seeems,
This is my life

Gerald

Farewell - Hiatus

2009-01-28T21:01:00.006+08:00

I guess with the title,

This only leaves me to explain my rationale for the Good-Bye..

I've been a faithful observer and tracker of most of my readers, which is what makes up my readership. Ever since school started and it was only me self-indulging in my own thoughts or so to speak my philosophy, or even fantasies if you will.

As a result, readership dropped from averaging of 42 unique readers/day to around 7-10 unique readers/per day.

What changed?

Well for one thing, its like self-entertaining. Its like asking a question and answering it yourself. Things will be much better if I only archive the 'diary' inside my comp.

Next, I think there isn't much of any appealing stuffs for me to update on and school life always remain about the same. So.. Same old boring stuffs everyday or even worst than boring. Last thing you want huh?

Next, one of my post's purpose is to really portray some sort of hidden agendas to different individuals. Everyone's suppose to feel different after reading because of the different interactions. Sometimes people do catch it but some jump to conclusions without even reading properly.

However, since one of my resolutions is to clear myself away from conflicts. This is something I have to stop. I'd rather have a chat than having miscommunication in the end, even though I don't think "chatting" will be any better. Rarely people chat with me and I don't really enjoy slowing down others either.

Finally, the very obvious point. I bet some of you are already thinking about it in your head.

"Who the hell Gerald thinks he is? Talking like he have tons and tons of supporters. As if his post is that profound to be that manipulative. All he wants is some attention. OHH Get a Life Please?"

Well, I don't blame you. Because to be frank, I will most likely be having that same thought too. I'm a cynic and somewhat critical person. My mind just starts to find fault with everything it can see, with anything..

Which brings me to the next point...

Arrogance? Good for you if you've never been told off wrong by me. Though I'm not that straightforward to everybody, I think I give the impression to others that I like to prove people wrong.

One such common person I've found, Bryan Liang. My new parter in class! Very Good company around, though he's really clear cut straight forward with everybody.

Well . . . I think thats really sufficient for the elaboration. I can go on and on but it defeats the purpose.

So long, Good-Bye..

Whats the point?

2009-01-25T23:19:00.008+08:00

Something did set me thinking through whats the meaning or point of everything you ever hear, view, or experience before.

Since you already know. When there is a beginning, no matter what there will be an end. Both of them comes together and without an ending , there will be no point for the word "beginning".

Do you see it?

If there's not a word "stop", there won't be a point for the word "start" as well. They co-exist together to give each extreme its own meaning.

And you always hear " All good things come to an end", then what good there is? If there is an ending for everything, then there will never be a good ending. Because "Good" and "End" just doesn't come together. Its like saying someone is ugly and goodlooking at the same time. Its just plain oxymoronic.

I've thought through it all and my conclusion is..

Without an afterlife or eternal if you will, added to the equation.
What matters is only what you've done, experienced or left behind after you die, in this lifetime.

Which in turn is ultimately meaningless, because if afterlife or eternal is taken out of the equation, you just disappear into thin air. And sooner or later, everybody disappears.

Question is, since people already know there will be an end. Why do mothers still give brith to children? Why do people still enter into relationships? Why would anyone bother making money to survive, since you're gonna die anyways.

OR has society deluded us into believing, if you have made preparation for the future then you won't have to worry about life.

What is your life all about? Is it all about studying, working, knowing people?

Lets just say If you've got everything in the world, all the riches, everything that you will ever need.

What will you continue doing?

Will you just sit and wait with yourself or your love ones to the day you die? Either way of waiting will be meaningless if you can see it.

I BET 95% of you will have "don't know" as your answer!
(thats if afterlife and eternal is taken out of the equation)

Since life's already that meaningless, whats the point of being afraid to try new things or start new things?

I didn't post this because of the video, if you're wondering.
I used the video because of the post.

Now, New Year don't seem to hold much of any significant huh?

And you Now ask!

"then why don't you kill yourself and die, if you think life's meaningless?"

Thats because I still have doubts to doubt this doubt..

The Power of Focus

2009-01-22T21:45:00.002+08:00

Hey Guys!

This will once again be another short update for the week!

I think I've brokethrough the limited capacity of mine to handle stuffs and tasks. I've been cramped with homeworks and stuffs. Getting irregular amount of sleep now, very frequently. BUT I don't feel burned out at all!

I thanks the holidays that made me able to handle the sleeping issues well.

Thats for handling it mentally.

However, physically I have to admit I'm not doing that welll. Down with flu - Headaches, Sore throat, Nose block and fever. Not been taking Vitamin Cs nowadays because its finished and its easy for me to fall sick. Falling sick now will really be the last thing I want.

Got back my Emath and Chem tests results! I did not bad for both but I believe it could have been better!

For Emath its a 59/80 and Chem 20/30

Not distracted this year really as compared to the last.

Last mid-year, because of some stupid conflict resolving and thinking about getting involve with someone relationally, I wasted hell a lots of time rationalising and reading between the lines. I still remember drifting away from lesson and day dreaming all the while in class. This was after the 1st quarter of last year, around april - may period?

Came to think of it, its dumb and it only ended up getting myself hurt. For conpensation, it took me lots of hardwork to catch up with the syllabus of those essential subjects. It did worked out somehow, if you're wondering.

By the way, any mature person with a right mind will know that getting involve with anyone you're working with together or in this case associated in the same organisation together will make completely no sense at all. Either things gets ugly or its happily ever after, I beg to differ for the latter.

However, we're also taught to never wait for perfect conditons to come, because there will never be one!

SEE!? How different truths can contradict each other that easily? So really, "waiting for the right time" is a very common answers everytime we get or give to excuse ourselves from choosing to accept or reject some realities. As we are all unsure of what choices we decide on, would later regret us.

So this year . . .

One of my resolutions will really be trying to stay out of conflict and also forget about getting involve with anyone or even anything else more.

This way I'm a better friend/acquaintant or student to everyone!

Which sums up to FOCUS-ing in my priorities!

OHOH OHHHHH O ' lvls!

L1R4 < 13, DISM in SP!

Here I come! =X

Tag REPLIES!

2009-01-18T19:57:00.002+08:00

Yo YO!

So I went out and grabbed some NEW clothes with Lionel today!

Got myself two sets in total! One long sleeved red/pink shirt, one recoil polo T and two straight cut trousers! Sounds quite little but it already total up to around 100 bucks plus plus!

OH Ya! Not forgetting today is the 18TH once again! Its been the FOURTH one now already. I still remember the THIRD one and time really really flies when things keep keep coming in!

And its SHARON's Birthday!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY YO!

Tag replies:

Hisyam: YO! thanks for tagging =)

Kaileng: LOLS! Punky kid, like outside u see all those "xiao ah beng".. this one is the extreme version!

Yeng Minn: Ahahas YEA! Thanks :D Mayb I will wear it the next time! xD

Qin Hui: Yea! Sort of got over it after some sleep and getting out of normal routine! LG, Life's Good :D

Lionel: Yea! Ernest! You just saw him this morning =X

Yiting: YOYO!

No Sweat

2009-01-17T22:50:00.005+08:00

Hey World!

Back for another round of short updates here and there!

Well, as you know it... Its SCHOOL time now and when its school time, things would usually be monotaneous and even repetitive! The feeling of doing the same thing over and over again. The endless HOMEWORKs, TESTs, MOCK EXAMs and the lack of sleeping!

Sour Huh?? REMEMBER what we're taught in school? Make LEMONADE out of LEMONS!

"Hmm... What am I getting at?", you Wonder..
What I'm trying to say is...

"Happiness and fun is a matter of choice!"
You can be optimistic about all things, its just how you look at stuffs.
Some of the things in life, there's really nothing you can do about it.
Since there's nothing to be done, why brood over it?

Appreciate things around you and be HAPPY with LIFE! :D
Continue to complaint and be cynical about everything, you'll just get insanely frustrated with life.

And and and....I found out I'm actually missing out a lot in my house!

Actually my lil bro, Ernest can be quite a fun and cute company around!

LOOK!

My parents actually went to Taiwan and bought back a damn nice looking WIG! It looks really really really real on your head and its SO COOL!

Alright alright, I shall end my post here... Getting really less stuffs to blog about nowadays.

But but.... Here's whats gonna happen!

Gonna take lots of pictures during CHINESE NEW YEAR visits around friend's house!
Also, I'm going stock up my new clothings just for it with LIONEL tomorrow!
AND Here's wishing all

EARLY HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!

SO till then... ME signing OFF

Gear Changed

2009-01-12T21:56:00.007+08:00

O lvls results released today and I'm wondering whats it gonna be like 12 months later, when its my turn.

Now that school has started for a while, it occupies most of my time. While at home for that few hours, I don't really get to talk to anyone in the house. It will always be getting work done and coordinating stuffs.

In the cool of the night where things are much more quieter than usual, I spent time updating myself with some hot news online or not some reading. "Woa!" you say, spending leisure time like this. No Life huh?

Sometimes I get into the night too late because of "stoning" in front of the comp. For some of you who knows me, I don't really make use of my handphone to contact people and I don't have a housephone.

So I mostly stay online all the time and actually only 1/4 of it will be spend really talking. And you wonder whats with the 3/4? Well, I pretty much just do nothing and wait. Its really hard finding anyone at all. Its usually either afk, brb or take more than 30 secs to reply, then you know what it means la obviously.

Meanwhile, I would just think about stuffs and its really hard to get moving when you're in deep thoughts.

Now, when most of the people are also busy as well. It gets even worst, not really engage in proper conversation at all for a day will be possible. You then start to talk to yourself, in your head. Sounds silly huh?

One time I remembered telling somone about the irritating itch on my arms and I got responded this way ,

"uh huh? And you suddenly tell me for??"

I'm like "Woa, fine then".

Wonder is it just me or it has always been and will be like this. Oh ya, I'm not petty. I just don't tend to forget things if you're wondering.

Time's changed, Thing's changed, People's changed...

Wondering what drastic change will there be just one year later, maybe people around me now will be totally gone by then already, just exactly how it was like transiting from Pri to Sec.

And yep, like most of you quote me.. "Too bad life sucks, live with it."

Anyway, if you've not heard it. I've been coined or called as, if you will "Like to prove people wrong guy" or "Guai Lan" or "Over ambitious guy" or "Like to correct people guy" or maybe even irritating.

Good News then I guess. I made resolutions to stay low, ignore and pretend I always see nothing wrong with anything spontaneously, unless asked for or required this year.

To see in it in a positive light, most of what I thought will be useful when I speak, turns out to look useless to others most of the time. So its kind of pointless and it will only make more people dislike me.

Trust me, most people hates the truth and everybody lies xP

...Running my way to O Levels alone then

Soft to Hard Copy

2009-01-09T18:51:00.004+08:00

Hey Guys!

Back to update a bit about the week!

We're having CCA day open house this saturday, which is tomorrow!

I managed to get the Choir T-shirt printed just in time and from the coordinating to the distributing, things went quite smooth.

The person actually delivered it to my school!

So here it is!

From idea -> coordination -> construction -> production -> distribution !

However, there are some miscommunication in the sizing and pretty much everyone got one size bigger than their suppose to have!

I got the Size M, I'm suppose to be wearing S. Its according to the standard male size table, which I really had no idea about.

So really really SORRY to those I've misguided the shirt size about =X

I got the wrong size myself xD

Till then ME signing OFF =)

Seriousness Restoration

2009-01-07T17:55:00.004+08:00

Hey Guys!

AWED or DISGUESTED by the previous post on VLOGGING??

The all true and real GERALD is back, and currently switched to SERIOUS-mode!

Good news and Bad news to ALL today!

Here's the explanation:

One of the clones of me in the 11th dimension of the parrallel universe decided to cross our 4-dimensional REALITY world!

He was really VERY different from 4-Dimensional "ME" as you know it and he realised he stepped in the wrong dimension and had maybe made a fool of himself or maybe to some an entertainer I guess.

Well, he's now gone for GOOD and NEVER will be coming back!

Okay! Really back to reality now!

I'm kind of packed with school stuffs nowadays and really for those of you who adds me in MSN will now realise I seldom appear Online. Normally, I will always be online and really stare at the computer screen all day long. Ask me what's really that interesting about computing? I also don't really have an answer for you.

I'm trying to as much as possible switch to focus on studies instead of other less important stuffs.
So you won't see me updating much on the HAPPENINGS of my weekends or any other event as well. Afterall, staying at home is the best treat you can get after a long week at school!

Anyway..... to sidetrack

Here's a REALLY good food/snack recommendation for studying!

Till then ME Signing OFF =X

V-logging!

2009-01-04T19:16:00.003+08:00

Hey World!

Its a free saturday for me yesterday and I was kind of finding rest for myself that very day!

As there's really maybe too much events and stuffs going on during the holidays which resulted in me feeling lethargic as well as causing A HOLE IN MY POCKET!

The day passed quite fast for me and I could say its kind of a fulfilling one!

Like I've said in the previous post, my parents are now at Taiwan. I got really bored

:: And I FOUND this !! ::

To be of my use temporary! So I had this idea of doing a Video-Blog (Vlog) quite a while ago. I've been fans of Psymansim and Dan Brown at You-tube!

Their videos are really cool! You can find them by searching their username right at Youtube.

Anyway, I went on and actually tried doing my own VLOG for the very FIRST time!!

I really do not have any idea what I would want to discuss about and I asked lionel for some suggestions.

And I thought... Hmmm, since there aren't much SG'reans or Asians Vloggers out there, why not I discuss just about it? About Why you seldomly see Singaporeans doing a Vlog?

:: SO I shall now present to you what I've done in over some time I have ::

OKAY! For all of you who know me in person would be very very STUNNED by now!! RIGHT!?

ITS TOTALLY UN-ME especially the EQ -part according to SHANNON

Alright, the amount of STUNN-NESS you have EQUAL the amount of effort I put in.

Like I've said if you know me in person, you will NEVER NEVER see me like that and its really just so NOT ME!

I'm actually trying to imitate both of my vlog idol style, Dan Brown and Psymanism.

Well, do give your comment in my tagboard or even tell me in person if you're too SHY!?

If you're gonna give comment like " Ahh lame lahz or stupid " or any cynical or pointless comment, really really forget it =.=

Overall, I think that Vlogging isn't really my stage and this would most probably be my FIRST and LAST, unless situation permits =X

OKAY OKAY I gotta convince people I know in person I'm not CRAZY!

Alright thats the update for now,

Till then me Signing OFF =)

First Day Of School

2009-01-02T23:33:00.002+08:00

Hey Guys!

Hmmm ... Lets see, the first day of school huh?

Sounds interesting yea?

Well, actually it was quite a hectic day for me and right now I have trouble seeing colours properly, as a result of staring at HOT PINK for hours @.@

You ask why and I have to say its because of this helping out with the Choir T designing!
I didn't really thought I'm gonna do it but I did it somehow. Where I'm coming from is really to help yengminn and her com, quite pointless if I was to think I'm contributing to Choir.

End of the day credits goes to?? @.@

Anyway, here it is:
Front

Back

It was discussed in the practice today and I went home and get it together. Not really an good job done I know but its the best I can do in such a short time by today. Took me quite some EFFORT

After school today was the EC meeting, it was kind of short compared to the last time. I feel the place is not right for meeting like this, feels like whatever I'm saying is not getting in.

Next it was choir practice and my mum told me to inform my maid that she was suppose to pick my brother from school at 5pm instead of 5.15pm. But maid didnt picked up the phone at all @.@

So I have to rush back from school despite being pulled back by Choir and it was already like 4.45 when I reached Causeway Point.

I still have to rush to NTUC to buy Rice!! And the counter service is SO DAMN SLOW! Like SLOW MOTION people working!?

There's no more left in my house and my parents is now like OVERSEAS in TAIWAN! Left Alone to take care of younger siblings and maid. Elder Bro in PASIR LABAR? NS?

WOW CRAMP AND CRAMP!

The choir practice was kind of crap. After so many practices already its still about the same. Took me a while to catch up abit and still I think Conductor Lee was quite ridiculous.

"Don't repeat mistake! Its VERY STUPID U KNOW?!?"

WOW! I'm like okay whatever ~.~

Had been used by the previous 2 committees already and now this? Where am I in the position to handle stuffs like this, a nobody in choir? LEECHERS using me like I think it matters when it don't ;/

Happy New Year 2009

2009-01-01T00:00:00.000+08:00

:: HAPPY NEW YEAR 2009 TO ALL !!! ::

Chalet '08!

2008-12-31T11:52:00.009+08:00

Hey World!

I'm Back for another round of LAST UPDATE for THIS YEAR!!

So I went and join in with this group of friends CHALET. Mainly people I hanged out with during the China Trip!

:: This was where I spent my 28th -30th DEC 2008!!

Its none other than COSTA SANDS Pasir Ris!!
This Chalet officially started when the fire begins!

Its about Starting the BBQ Fire!

It took us quite some time to really get the fire going strong and steady. However, the hardwork was paid off. The food that we meddled with was COOKED and EDIBLE, at least for the ones that I cooked !!

::So here's a Sneak PREVIEW for you!! ::

It was mainly Satay (Kebabs?) and Sweet corn right on the pit! I heard that the corns actually had WORMS crawling around in it!!!!!

MY GOODNESS! I actually ATE one of it! Tell me how gross is that?!?

And One Hokkien Phrase came to my mind "La sup jia, La sup Dua!". Meaning "dirty eat, dirty grow up" Direct translation uh, if don't get it its alright =X

NEXT!We went on with the Night Cycling segment! I think I've got myself A very NICE RIDE!! Thanks to LIONEL!!!

The 8 of us cycled to Changi Village to have our Supper. It was a 4km journey and I think its the most relax night cycling I had before already! Straight road all the way!!! EASY POM BI BI

We ate the Prata there. Seems like whenever there's tonning, prata will always be a part of it huh?

Didn't take a picture of the PRATA itself. But here's something interesting!

Tell me, does this look like MILO DINOSAUR to you?!?

While we were doing our night cycling, some of the dudes/dudettes stayed back at the chalet itself. I think they went to the beach for a slow relaxing walk.

I'm thinking...Hmmm, when it comes to relaxing. What ELSE is there to keep you occupied all day long?!?

NDS, PSP, MP4, MP3!! You DECIDE xD

Next

We all went back and was kind of feeling tired here and there. One of us went to sleep and decided that it should be alright with nice peeps like us!

And HERE YOU GO!

I didn't really sleep at all for the 1st day and the NEXT morning came!

We all decided that we go........

It was very very very FUN and THRILLING! Especially the U-Tube, I think thats what its called. No pictures of inside though... It will be kind of insane to be carrying cameras around while enjoying the rides!

We spent a hell lots of hours back there and now I guess all of us is having SUNBURN all over our bodies!

Here's some tips for all of you:
1. Bath with Cold water
2. Dry your skin by tapping the towel, no RUBBING
3. Drink lots of water, 8-10 glass?
4. Apply ALOE VERA gel on your body
5. NEVER NEVER NEVER tear your skin when it doesn't tear by itself!

ALRIGHT ALRIGHT... Its the 3rd day now! Early in the morning 12 am...

We went to BOWL!!The final bill came and it was FREAKING $98!!! I'm like how did we end up with PAYING SO MUCH for BOWLING?!

I then learnt a lesson... Never go for 2 games if you think 1 game of it won't be enough. You can add another game afterall if you feel you HAVENT had ENOUGH of it!

While waiting for the booking, I was actually suggesting that we take some pictures to fill up THIS POST!

:: SO here's something "we created" out of INSANITY ::

You know by the looks of it, you can easily tell who's the winner !! =X
My mind tells me its the one nearer to the left!! xD (I don't know @.@)

You Really want to know what's up with the PRICE??

Here you go!

Wow! Can you see how exaggerating the simple display must be? HDTV for scores!! My goodness, I think its time for me to build IMAX theatre in my house!

The Usual BOTH of US

Overall, I could say I did enjoyed myself over the past 2 +/3 days! Really a good way to end off the year and start a year of SERIOUSNESS! Mind you its O' lvls for me NEXT YEAR

Thanks to the Organisers, mainly JingJing and Sushan I guess!

Though there are parts and parcel of it I don't look eye to eye with it

but but but BUT.... You don't go to something and wish you have your way and idea, you go because YOU WANNA HAVE FUN!!!

So to all the participants! Complain no more and LIVE WITH IT,

HAVE FUN!

Till then , Me signing OFF

Do Tag ME!!

Sorry I went back on my words about going "un-commercial" but I guess I'll still update like this when there are stuffs going on in my life. Used to it? Maybe.. We'll see in the future!

Plans only as good as they're executed?

2008-12-30T14:12:00.007+08:00

Look at the Title and the Picture.. I'm sure most of you would have went through with stuffs like this before and understand where I'm coming from.

Sometimes you can work it out on papers, in your mind or even find out about whatever you think you need to know about stuffs you have to know.

Once you got it all worked out after some serious rationalising and hesitation,

you think.... " Ah Huh!!! I got IT! "

But but but BUT....Parts of you still know that some of the Unlimited "What Ifs" might still cock up anytime.

But but but BUT....You know that whenever you have thoughts like this. You either talk to someone about it or you think about what would someone you usually talk to tell you about it.

The answer is..... "ALWAYS LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE OF LIFE!"

Wow! Positivity, Great isn't it?

Alright, now you assume things will go as planned and it will be something that could make a BAM!

You now start looking forward for everything to go through as planned accordingly and you anticipate it greatly more and more after the days gets nearer as time passes much faster than you expect!

Finally, the time is ripe and......

To your surprise!!! Things you've planned somehow just didn't work out because of some factors that you thought you came across BUT....... you DIDN'T actually did it...

::Morale of the story::

1. Never see things as 100%

2. Whatever that might go wrong, will go wrong

3. Do something about the "What ifs"

4. Never wait for it to hunt you down

5. Do the opposite of looking at the bright side always

Here's a really nice song for me at least, dedicated to everyone I might have let down before. I literally teared when I heard the lyrics and reflect on stuffs that I might have done wrong. Also for you, I'm sure there's surely someone/anyone in your life you owe a really big "SORRY" to, you know what song to look out for huh =X

Best Of Me

It's so hard to say that I'm sorry
I'll make everything alright

All these things that I've done
Now what have I become, and where'd I go wrong?
I don't mean to hurt just to put you first
I won't tell you lies
(I'm sorry)
I will stand accused
With my hand on my heart
I'm just trying to say

I'm sorry
It's all that I can say
You mean so much
And I'd fix all that I've done
If I could start again
I'd throw it all away
To the shadows of regrets
And you would have the best of me

I know that I can't take back all of the mistakes
But I will try
Although it's not easy
I know you believe me
Cause I would not lie
Don't believe their lies
Told from jealous eyes
They don't understand
(I'm sorry)
I won't break your heart
I won't bring you down
But I will have to say

My last words...

Alright folks, I think thats the end for the main content of this post.

Anyway, I guess this shall be my last commercial post for now already. If you haven't notice, I've tried my best to make my blog look much more interesting compared to the past.

Read my past archive if you really love me that much and would like to prove me wrong.

So umm, going "un-commercial" would means less pictures and more words. And words that only contain my thoughts, less likely anything interesting for most of you "My Readers", unless like I've said, you really love me that much

Thanks for your readership and here's wishing everyone of you a HAPPY NEW YEAR 2009!!

!Merry Christmas 2008!

2008-12-26T19:23:00.008+08:00

Hey World!

Sorry for my later updates on CHRISTMAS!!

:: Before I go on.... Here's our Greetings to ALL ::

Alright, I'll go on and update more about how'd I spent Christmas this year!

Basically, like I've said in the previous' post. Some of the BEST dudes/dudettes came over my house and we PARTIED!!

I could say this is one of the BEST Christmas I've ever had in my Life! Incredible huh? =X
We met up at Causeway Point and bought our Midnight Tickets for the show "YES MAN!"

P/s "Say YES! to everything!"

It was really a GREAT show! For those of you looking for some SERIOUS LAUGHTER and FUN go for it!

Next, it was me to them, "Welcome to my house!" !! =X

So they came and I'd really tried to be a good host as much as I can already..

Asked my maid to prepare some food and finger food, So here you go!!

We continue to hangout at my house til around 11.20 P.M. In the meantime, I helped out with Kaileng's laptop and managed to clear some irritating virus! Next time if you're stuck with things like this, you know who to find huh xD

So I was going around taking some candid shots. I told them I was gonna post a KICKASS post With a BAM! and I need some great shot...

However, I still think its "GREAT!" What do you think?!? @.@
P/s: Qin Hui was like thinking... "hmm.. friends with BLOGGER? ARGHGH ~.~"

So we caught the movie "Yes Man!" like I've said and the plan we had NEXT... Was to visit the 24hrs Eating House at WOODGROVE! Thats right! =X

The prata there is simly Yummi-Licous! Finding a good place for Supper in the North!?

Here you GO!

The one with CREAMY creams all over. Its colouful overalls made it look YUMMY even before savouring it

Ever heard of MILO mix in with PRATA? Once you chew it, the sweet and soft powder melts in your mouth! They seriously have an exotic variety shoud try it out one day when you can!

After that, we chilled and chatted for quite some time. It was really COLD hanging out in the night or early morning you call it!

Felt abit tired and we all came back to my house.. slacked and chatted until it was around 7am!! Barely anyone really slept and it was what we would coil as a "SUPER CAN MAKE IT TONNING" Session!!

So what makes the CHRISTMAS GREAT!?

Its a season of GIVING! So I got these two gifts! TO the GIVERS "I LOVE YOU!" =X

Do Tag Me =X

A Day Out?

2008-12-24T00:49:00.006+08:00

Hey World!
Today was quite a FAST day for me.
Woke up at 9am and decided hmm...

Its time to do all my homeworks already!
Thanks to JOAN! I got my motivation!! Made up my mind to complete everything before the chalet this Sunday.

To people out there still unable to find the mood... C'MON!!! Its not really that much and You will be CELEBRATING New Year with a CLEAR HEART! Going to school Proudly the first day.. So GO on " Just Do it" !

While doing the work... I got distracted and my stomach went "GrowlWLwllwl....." I'm like okay, I gotta get something to eat Now. So I opened my fridge and Thank GOD!

There're 2 Salmon Sashimi!!

Okay okay...

I managed to finish some of the homeworks already and remembered...

Ohh ya, there are some errands I need to run today!

Firstly, it was to collect my sis's E-zLink card over at Tanjong Pagar, Transit Link Headquarters. Next, since i'm going out... I made arrangements to meet my Zinc Bag Buyer today at Bishan.

Yep! I sold it already =X

So I went on and met up with Lionel.
Took me hell lots of persuation to find his company @.@

Anyways, we met up and went to Bishan first. The transaction done was quite smooth going and next we're off to Tanjong Pagar!

We reached the MND Complex and SHUCKS! I noticed the receipts for the card retention was actually MISSING?!

Good thing all that was required is just my sis's birth certificate and Its Done!

Next Station!! BUGIS

Ehh... Not really that good accompany me luhs! Found out his motive was actually to check up price of his Soon-to-be No MORE Phone! Alright, we went to bugis and my motive was actually to get a new pair of 3/4 bermudas at RECOIL. I only have like one of it.. so yep, objective was met!

We were like very HUNGRY but I didn't compromise my wallet for eating something that un-filling. Lionel got his secret RECIPE, Chicken Fillet! Its cost $3.50 WOW!

After all the shopping for me and window shopping for him, we were like very thirsty. So according to Lionel, eating Ice-cream helps! So we got it and THANK you "la" for treating me =.=. $1?!?

However, somehow the person serving us have problem comprehending the use of gravity @.@ He dipped it in and then twist it like 45 Degree... So the top is like slunting halfway down!

As a result our ice-cream turn into THIS shortly...

He failed the 2nd time and then threw it away! What a waste, It could have save Lionel $1!!

:::!OUR ICE CREAM CHALLENGE!:::

Awww... too bad luh, Live With it =X
Next, we went for a simple dinner at Toa Payoh

Wow! Fast isn't it, for a day like this? Its always fun hanging out with Lionel! Really really thanks! Can't imagine if i'm alone today..

So.. till then, I'm signing off

Do Tag Me ! =X

A Day At Home ?

2008-12-23T00:00:00.001+08:00

Hey Guys!

Thanks for visiting and giving ur response via the Survey! Seems like the banner was pretty well received, spent 1-2 hrs doing it. Credits to Photoshop CS2.

Okay Okay, I have to admit... Videos surely do a better job than Picture Telling!

::: SO Here you GO, "Chubby Buddy"!! :::

I stayed at home all day today and did managed to catch up some stuffs going on around. Basically use the comp the whole day!!

OMG look at my Bro, he's following me as well!!

Guess What?!

My Christmas Party on the 24th Dec!

Its gonna be exciting and fun I think.

We plan to catch a midnight show and to party at my house before that. Doing some small gifts exchanging and also to TON at Woodgrove Eating house. The Cheese Prata there is like Yummi-licious, gotta try it someday if you haven't!

::: Nahh! No Pictures of Prata. But... :::

Here's a picture of what I ate for Lunch today

Well... By the looks of it, how much do you rate it?? Feels hungry already right now?!

Alrite Alrite... Now let's do a follow up on my previous post!

Remember I told you about some makeover project in my house? I said I painted a wall that is full of orange into White?? Well, I didn't have a picture of it that time round So...

:::Here's a Visual of what I meant:::

Till then, Me Signing Off..

Do Tag Me!

New Season! New Look!

2008-12-22T01:03:00.012+08:00

Hey World!!

Seems like I've been missing out a lot in pictures, fun or recreativity or colour blah blah blah, now...

Guess What..!???
I'm gonna try something NEW today!

Somehow I just cannot upload the video of a game I took part in a Christmas Carnival. So.... I captured the frames and I will tell a PICTURE story! Thats right! =)

This game is called "Chubby Bunny" and trust me...

Everyone of you looking for some Serious FUN should TRY it!

Abit digusting though... Contradictory, seems like Games that are the most disgusting tends to be those that will be the most FUN!

::::: !So Lets begin the Picture Talking! :::::

Okay, we're starting the game now.. Suppose to stuff as many mashmallows into our mouths as possible.

I'm competing AGAINST Lionel Duh @.@

He's giving me this kind of EYE and I'm like ~.~...... Look back!

So he gave me the ~.~ face back.. I'm like "APA?"(WHAT?)

And Subtly, We broke into "want laugh cannot laugh out" situation!

Next, we SEIZE the time to Squeeze As much As Possible in our mouths! No Way I'm losing to Lionel Yo! Ohh... CRAP! Too much Squeezing for me, I nearly vomitted ! (Including things in my stomach if I really did vomit) Lionel is like " Oh.. how!? I also in a cannot-make-it state already?!" Really now I cannot Squeeze anymore in my mouth already! I decided, I'm gonna Win anyways. So I gave up, spit out One-by-One and Count my HARDWORK =x

Aiyooo.... Lionel also can't last that long luhs! By the time I'm done, he's totally "cui"(gone case) already. Also counting his HARDWORK, One-by-One =x

"Muahahahahaha!!" I thought I already Won him!

Too Early to celebrate eh?? Later did I found out..... @.@

Welll, not tooo bad right?? I managed to Stuffed 4 of them in!!

Don't think its ever too Easy.... TRY IT out YOURSELF!

Okay okay.. Alright! I have to admit I've lost to Lionel in the end. He did better than me, 6 of them right into his mouth! @.@

Don't ever underestimate the Size of his mouth okay!?

:: " Maybe, fairer skins allow skins to stretch more??? " :: JKJK

Alright, thats all folks for the "Chubby Bunny". So next time for those of you looking for games to host for any event, you have a New IDEA. Hope you've enjoyed!!

Also, if you've really really very very " SHARP " eye, you would have obviously noticed the changes made to the Banner.

Do give ur Response via the Survey (on the top right) or the tagboard =x

Till then, Me Signing off...

Do tag me!

Updates!

2008-12-19T01:11:00.006+08:00

Hey Guys!

Back for another round of update on the Videos at AEM!

So here you go:

(I have no idea whats the title) Enjoy! =)

I think this group they have the best movements and I would classify them as the drama-mama group. Really I think its quite fascinating and most probably you'll enjoy it!

Oh.. also, today went to hang out, its like "the people that went to China" group gathering.

Watched the movie "Twilight" in cinema like finally! Its official launch date in Singapore was actually on the 18th December. I could say that this is one show many has been already anticipating and would most likely be the greatest box office hit in Singapore!

Well, I've already posted about the book before and highlighted the outline of the story. So here's the review for the movie. I think for a 400+ pages book to be condensed into a 2 hrs movie, the director had already done a very good job. Although I have to admit those romance parts aren't really bought out well in the movie and there's actually some chronological difference.

Also there are some plotholes and goofs or error as you know it. Victoria's presence going unnoticed at prom. Edward can read minds, Alice can see the future and all of the Cullen's have enhanced vampire senses so the chances of her going by unnoticed is highly unlikely.

When Bella is in the ballet studio, she smacks her head against the wall and begins to bleed; however, when she's shown in the hospital, her head is not bandaged.

After Edward and Bella soar up to the treetops, his shirt is dirty, but in the next shot when they're just standing in the tree, it's clean again.

In the final credits, "Emmett" is misspelled which could most likely be accredited to the use of a spell-checker which would spell the name as "Emmet".

There are more, if you're really interested go to this web :http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1099212/goofs

Also, Lionel and me managed to prepare for the gift exchange thing next week.
we actually figured out some pranks to play on people on the christmas party at KY's house!

Beware Muahahahahas xD

Do ignore my previous post, just an outburst because of sleep deprivation? I don't know.. Anyway, I managed to grab some fever medicine and then got drowsy... and Bam! I'm asleep until morning 9 am. Although still feeling abit feverish but I'm glad I'm already feeling way much better from the tiredness =)

Insomniac..

2008-12-17T19:04:00.002+08:00

Someone hear me please, I cant sleep at all in the night. Not even a mere 1/2 hr in the noon, just maybe a few 2 - 3 hrs from 6am to 9 am....

I'm feeling very tired and getting real soon into a flu state, irritatting throat nuisance, migriane, body aches everywhere... Very very tired, but I just cant get to sleeeep... Tell me how tormenting is that? Its like feeling very very hungry with sumptuous meal infront of you, but yet your mouth is somehow just blocked off invisibly...

I'm not stress by work or studies .. Its this thing causing me to feel like i'm jaded with many many things undone, like there's no end... For that 2-3 hrs which passes in just a blink of an eye, i dreamt of things going very wrong in reality, very very wrong... The next day it would keep my mind with restless thoughts, even when theres nothing left to worry.

I'm glad things did went well in school today but just after it bad news just comes... Inevitable, difference in preference, unwilling people, causing things to mess up, what would be an full gathering actually ended up with a few people? Whats the point then?

The party going on next week, let me assure you 100% the "maybes" and "see 1sts" by people would be negative. Really you know it, I know it, answers like this is just meant to create false hope and then unless things goes wrong or differently then it would be positive. It's like friggin obvious and it happened so many times already, I know you all.

"Doubt I know the feeling of being pissed off? I'm a Pisser? Get this straight clear right, there's a super freak thick line between not gettin pissed and tolerant. C'mon la, Get your facts right before you start thinking you know it all. "

Yea, say whatever you want or think as you like... Never had type like this before, A-A or ADS or facts, you decide yourself.

ah, Screw it all.\

Surprised!!

2008-12-12T20:55:00.008+08:00

After youtube-ing for quite some time...

I looked at top right hand corner and realised there's 1 text comment on my video!

I've been seeing it for one week now already but didn't really put my eyes into notice with it.

Lo and behold I realised, the video I actually thought cannot be uploaded was already uploaded for over a 2 weeks!!

It came as really a SHOCK to me!!

..Anyway, just a little Recap..

Its actually the simple production over at Ngee Ann Poly on our little MV.. (Music Video)

We made use of this chinese song "细水长流", into what we wrote as "我就爱你"

Enjoy! xD

我就爱你

Look at Lionel's face!! Its like 1000 pple owe him $1,000,000,000! xD

And Qinhui's roleplaying with Lionel!! Qinhui is the "huai Pi Qi" partner, while Lionel is the "Tian Shi".

Yea quite match uh.. the complexion and stuffs

Muahahahas!

21 Days More of Holidays..

2008-12-11T11:05:00.009+08:00

Hey Guys! Back again to update more of my holidays.

Have been occupied with doing some minor house renovation, like painting the walls and mounting some stuffs. Basically spending time with my dad, hard thing to come by really. More pictures for this post and I'm damn glad with the small result of my living room!

Before

After(TADA?!)

Oh ya, I didn't mention about the "New" Plasma TV there. My dad actually got hold of this 42 inch display panel through his company for free! I'm not really all that rich at all if thats what you're thinking. Its not supposed to be in working condition anyway officially. However, due to some misjudgement and stuffs its actually working just fine!

Over here is a picture of the TV in action! Whole new level of shiok-ness in viewing of videos/games and stuffs etc. That screenplay is actually the trailer of Winning Eleven 9 when nobody is touching the controller. @.@

Okay I'm going to very simply describe the process over here. We actually got the design ideas through some home furnishing magazines and decided that we get our paint buckets and ACTION! We touched up some old walls that have stains and all everywhere and then DIY our own grey/beige TV border. The picture here below is actually the right side of the TV wall.

There is the left side but I didn't take down any picutre. The change is quite major also, whole chunk of orange painted with 2 coats of white.Imagine that, I took about 3 hrs plus for it! Whole of my arm muscles is aching right now @.@

A Few Days Later

Decided that I take some pictures with my Little Brother, Ernest! Bet most of you didn't know about my younger brother. He's like so damn cute manzx though I thought that he might look even "cuter" when he was like 3 or 4 years old.

Those 2 pictures were taken after my preparation of attending my elder brother BMTC Graduating Parade A.K.A POP. The one thing that kills the joy of it was really the travelling time. Took me almost 2 hrs to get to Pulau Tekong. Have train down to Pasir Ris, queue for the shuttle bus to the Ferry Terminal and then wait for it to reach Pulau Tekong.

What a Long Process =.=

It was some marching and then some awardees receiving their awards and then its photo taking time!

FYI, this is my Elder brother together with my Mother. I know what you're thinking, because it doesn't look like it right?And here's some pictures of the parading and marching etc. Couldn't really take a nice shot from a distance that distant away.

Alrighty, thats all already for now. School's starting really real soon, like really 21 days later and I'm not even near completing some assignments. Gotta do some serious revision and re-caping soon and then prepare for the Next Big Thing! O lvls 2009

Best Of Lucks For Me xD

Signing Off..

Midst Of Holiday

2008-12-03T22:51:00.006+08:00

Hey Guys!

Here I am, back to update about whats up with my holidays!

For this week, last saturday til now, I can say its the only days I really felt like its Holiday. Before that it has always been me, cooped up with school activities or school related stuffs. Now its like "I'm FREE" kind of feelings for me.

So I did managed to catch up a lot with Shannon together with Lionel last Saturday. It had been quite a while since we 3 went out together. So went to the Cathay at Dhoby Ghaut, E2eMax Cyber Cafe. The rates for it was quite pricey, so we ended up only staying an hour over there. Because of the pricey rates, we used the Xbox 360 console instead PS3 as planned beforehand by us.

Sunday

Woke up in the morning and later on met with Lionel, together with my family we went for service over at Expo. It lasted for 2 hr tops and next we're off to the Citex IT fair at Expo Hall 5. I helped a friend get his M2 memory card and also Lionel managed to get his very CHEAP 8GB Thumbdrive at ONLY $22!! Tell me how cheap is that!? It costed like a 100 bucks when it was just out in the market.

Next, with my very empty stomach from morning, we rushed back to woodlands and reached around 1.50pm. Was supposed to meet to pay the chalet fees first, but I couldn't contained the hunger. So I suggested we get our food first. Later on, we passed the money and left already. The atmosphere over at the rendezvous was kind of weirdy and coldy, didn't know what really mattered that much, we're not really all that distant right? So we parted from there anyways.

Monday - (Appropriate to use Blue huh? lols)

Came Monday morning and off I am to school! "For what!?" came up. And really, it was just to return the school's tablet PC. I bought my Sec 4 textbooks and it didn't really cost much, less than $50, really unusual from the usual.

Went back home later and I spent the whole day updating My Song Library! Its really what I can do now, when during school days I cant. Its pure shiokness getting all the cool and fresh songs! There's Hits from both English and Mandarin. Got my Mandarin Hits off the charts in Best933 FM and English Hits off the Billboard and Imeem charts.

Tuesday
The most fruitful day I would say for now! Shannon and Qinhui came over to my house! It was the whole day over at my house and we jammed the hell out of some strings and woods. It was fruitful because I did 4 things that kind of really helped in some ways and it did mattered. Won't really go into details, post is getting longer and longer, and I think there should be some suspense and surprise saved up for later on!

Today - (finally!)
Met up with Xiang Rong and Yong Kun, we went over to Jurong IMM Challenger. XR needed to send his CPU over for the warranty but it came to us quite shocking, when we realised there was nothing wrong with it when the person actually tried to on it! We tried and tried back at XR's house but to no avail.

Lastly, I want to feature this show "Max Payne" to everyone! You should all watch it! Its not in the cinemas anymore, either rent it, buy it or... alternatively, if you're really interested.. contact me via Tagboard. Its a fantastic thiller and the best

I would say a game to movie translation! The plot is almost congruent and yet has its style of portraying.
Thats all for now! Updates coming up soon xD

(My apologies for the reduced pictures uploaded)

AEM Week At NP!

2008-11-28T21:25:00.011+08:00

Hey Guys! Its been a few days already and I'm back to update about the AEM I attended this week at Ngee Ann Poly (NP). Its called the Fundamentals of Contemporary Chinese Music.

This is taken with my group members. It includes, from left Lionel, Qinhui, Alicia, Yueting and Me. These pictures were taken after the so called "Music Video" shooting.

This is 郑老师! He's like our idol please! His singing is so damn solid and he ever won the champion for "斗歌敬意" in 1991! Its like the "in thing" for singing at that time. Omg, I feel so honoured! He's like so cute drinking from the bottle in this pic!

Over here is Lionel, another Lectuerer and Me. She came from China and I think she's really well exposed to the world. She went to lots of places before and her singing is also not bad!

The thing is the both of them have a standard of English thats really good, in spite of being specialised in Chinese Studies!

This was us really working hard to prepare our finale presentation before the end of this AEM. We had to complete a 500 word report in chinese as well as do a powerpoint presentation of our choice within the subject. Its kind of tough when you come to think of it but its really quite fun!

Next! Its Party Time! It was the last day at NP and we all Spree-ed on the food! Look at the both of them, enjoying their cooling 60 cents Ice Kachang with some irresistable $1.60 Takoyaki Ball! This was just right after their main course meal @.@

This is Lionel, with his seemingly girlish foot! Omg! He looks so "Pretty" with those set of Snow-white feet!

Wooooo~! Dangerous huh @.@

This AEM course is really very worth the while attending. Though its really very tiring waking up early and going back late, its very enjoyable! We get to composed our very own lyrics and then record our own production. And 5 days sure past damn fast!!

I will post up the video here as soon as possible when I sort out some things xD

Thats about it for now!

Supposed Turmoil?

2008-11-24T23:10:00.002+08:00

Everytime I tried to look away,
a surge of force would prevent my way
Turning back with anticipation
ending up in aggravation

This world of complication
never revealing its implication
Minds of the people
enigmatic thoughts in their heads

In the need of direction
seeking counsel in correction
Confused and unsure of my ways
will anyone just come my way?

Can't control my dreams in my sleep
but you never fail to prevail in it
A false positive, never really true
why has it got to keep me reminded?

Just shed some hope,
all willing to hang on the rope
What does it takes,
do I have what it takes?

Confusion up kicking
all emotionally consuming
What would it be,
What I really want,
What does matter at all?

Gerald Tan

Brand New Zinc Bag For SALE!

2008-11-22T13:07:00.008+08:00

Hey Guys, I'm selling off this limited edition Zinc Harvest Sack Bag! It's striking colour definitely makes it uncommon from the common market out there and its what makes it unique! This product came from Japan and its definitely worth the deal!

Its going at $38 only! Bags like this out there would cost you around within a price range of $40-$50 and its those common bags. Its brand new and I still have the packaging on it, with the Zinc Tag and the Zinc Plastic Bag!

Tag me if you're interested or you can contact me through e-mail or msn. Details could be retrieve from the top right! $38 only!

Asia Conference 2008

2008-11-20T13:27:00.006+08:00

Hey Guys, Went for Asia Conference 2008 yesterday together with Lionel at Expo! It was spectacular, I meant the new stage changes and some performances lined up. Gonna continue going for the rest of the sessions coming up. Benny Hinn is on Saturday, bet its gonna be amazing and eye-opening! Also, Liu Geng Hong and Lin Jun Jie will also be performing on Sunday! I actually stood beside them as they went to the VIP toilet, while waiting for Lionel to finish relieving himself. @.@

Other than that, the word was great too! Pst Kong spoke about the conservatives staying in the 1st space, alienating from the world. But we should be out there in the marketplace shining bright, be the head and not the tail. Engaging Pop culture, turn yourself into an asset for the society, going in to the place of influence.

Here's a few pictures taken already xD

Things Inside the Welcome Pack:

Clorets Customised Box

A Notebook and a Pen

Inside Hall 8, Extreme Choir Side, Front 2nd Row

2nd Round..

2008-11-20T02:29:00.004+08:00

This will be my 2nd round of updating on the China trip. I've put together some photos and made out something you see above. Not that nice but I tried the least I could. Below are some pictures not taken by my camera. Woaa.. I really miss the trip a lot, keep reminicsing and thinking about the events that took place and the laughter we had together. Time really flies and it won't wait.

Hahas, holding hand with the Buddha

Back From China :D

2008-11-18T15:28:00.027+08:00

In the Plane, SQ

Wei Jie and Sheng Hao

China's Milk

The 3 in-charge Mr Tay Ms Woo and Mdm Lee

The Three of Us Yong Kun Lionel Me (serious)

SMILEs

Coke Shop at Singapore Park in Su Zhou
Joan & Alicia

Pole Dancers wannabe

Lionel Yong Kun Alicia

All Enjoying the Cooling Weather

Kam Lin Lorraine Joan Gazing the Sea

The 4 out of the 6 guys

Hahas Act Cute Pic

Imitate Statue

Si Act Cool Kia

Nerdy??

Over in there at the School

Our Buddies!

Modelling muahahas

Shi Lu at Suzhou, Best place to do Shopping

Yong Kun Showcasing the Bball KungFu

Lorraine "ren jian ren Ai"

The Food their school provides

Zipped all the way up ^^

Our tourguides, the guy is "Ah Sam", the best tourguide ever!
Lorraine Alicia Kam Lin and Joan

Ahahas our gang!

Macro-ing the ancient text

Huang Shang! Both Yong Kun and my "Mother"

Went On the Pluck Mandrain Oranges

Busy peeling off the skin, the Orange is damn nice lahz

Joan, damn Shuai!

"Mother" and Me

Before taking the Grand Canal Ride

Emo/ Funny face?? @.@

ahhas My turn to Act Cool

Lorraine's Turn

LOL my finger like poking into lorraine's Nose!

The Night View from the Grand Canal!!

Lorraine's Buddy and her

Jing's buddy, my buddy and me

Group Photo with the peeps!

New buddy and Me again xD

Woaaa! Photo with the Guard!

Chao Ah Gua! ahahas

This is another boat ride, the very very long river!

The Liu Bei Room's furniture!

Nice scenery!

Lorraine, just in time for a shot!

Next, Shang Hai!

The Oriental Pearl Tower!

The sec3s/sec2s!

View from floor 296!!!

Look at the shadows!

That's about all for my camera on this trip. Not really alot, cause some days didn't bought my camera along and the last 2 days my battery flat out. More pictures coming up soon!

This trip was definitely Awseome! The best thing we've experience was actually the cooling weather and the very nice vegetables, nourished with human fertilisers =.=.

We had lots of fun and made some friends over there in the "Wu Jiang Shi Experimental Middle School". When we walked in the school, everyone was like looking at us with that kind of face, like we're celebrity!

We all have our "Rocker" sign and you will laugh when you hear the origins of it. Some funny parts at Wu xi hotel happened to Lionel and me! He's now known as the nightsoil collector! Did some minor shopping and also bought the silk blanket, which cost a BOMB!

9 days really past damn fast! Now that I'm back in Singapore, I'm adjusting back to the hot weather here lols. How good will it be if its like last year, 14 days at China manzxz.

Kkk will end my post here, short but a post that take damn long to udpate xD

Before Setting to China! (short one)

2008-11-09T19:11:00.004+08:00

Hey Guys! Back to give short update about today!

Today was quite hectic for me. Woke up at 6 am and prepared to meet fellow Environment Champs people, together with Lionel at 7 am, Cause way point. Before I went out, I messaged a few people and checked their location. Glad that I did, cause I actually rescue myself from waiting alone for good 10 - 15 mins.

We met and then we all went down to Macdonald's to pack breakfast. I was quite hungry and finished what I bought while waiting for bus at the interchange.

Shortly, we reach the Petir Road at Bukit Panjang. We went to so called set up our booth and pinned up our previous costume. Off we are to work. We had difficulty handling the sewing machine and got some help from the facilitators. Kok Jan and Lionel was like wandering around finding interesting stuffs. They actually got some Helium balloons and make a hell of a "Squeaky" voice, after sucking the air in. It was damn hilarious!

One thing special was that the participants in the event was all female, except for me! Was like the only guy there and I tried handling the sewing machine.

Finally, we went for our final showdown and we got the 5th place. I think we should deserve better than 5th place, as our outfit and model is like so damn perfect lahz! I explained the outfit the best I could, after spending some time memorising some points. The outfit really look very cute and we actually made use of a Chapteh to create a Retrospective Hat.

After that, we went to Bukit Panjang Centre and had our lunch at Ichiban Sushi. A very BIG THANK YOU to Ms Ng! You're like the best teacher in the world, to me at least.

Later on, we parted our ways and together with Lionel, we take bus 190 down to Far East Plaza. He wanted to change his Memory Stick for PSP and I accompanied him. We went to the wrong place in the end, its supposed to be at Far East Shopping Centre. We kind of asked for direction and finally arrived at QiSahn!

Fast day huh, Woke up at 6 am and BAM! It's already 5.30 pm when we reached woodlands. Feeling kind of tired now but still, all Excited for the 10days China Trip later on!

Okay, I will end here. Will be back in Singapore only at the 18 th of November. Meanwhile, don't contact my Handphone at all. Somebody better be dying if a call was to get through xD

格斗天王- I Won't Give Up

2008-11-07T20:28:00.004+08:00

风停了它又吹汗干了却又湿了好几回
我看见你眼中的泪不该让你陪着我受罪

看你摇着头说不后悔
要我放心勇敢往前飞

I won't give up, take my hand
因为有你的爱当我的信念
梦再远也要追
不管前方暗藏着多少危险
一定是蓝天

我拼了命去追
这一路上有太多是与非
错或对我又能问谁
只求自己问心后无愧

跌跌撞撞也许很狼狈
多少次我笑中带着泪

I won't give up, take my hand
因为有你的爱当我的信念
梦再远也要追
不管前方暗藏着多少危险一定是蓝天

在梦里面我看不见你的脸
心要碎而地要灭不会变
you know I won't give up

Uncertainties..

2008-11-05T21:22:00.007+08:00

Direction-less Water

You see the water flowing down the stairs,
millions and millions of water molecues.
Its flow, controlled by gravity,
moving on downwards with unwillingness or willingness.

It does not know where the journey will lead itself to,
just knowing somehow,
just one day there will be an end to the journey.

It goes through the journey with paths,
sometimes going smoothly,
sometimes rough, sometimes thrilling,
sometimes in suspense while falling down the steps,

When there are times too long without obstacles,
it thinks maybe it will be the same for good until the end,
only to be filled with disappointments when
it finds that, journey still goes on,
on paths of smoothness, roughness and suspense.

It does gets tired of the journey sometimes,
trying to avoid the journey,
trying to go out of the path,
convincing itself there is more to the journey,
than what it's going through.

One thing for sure it can't know,
it cant know when the journey ends,
where it leads to, the reason and meaning of the journey.

Looking from that angle,
you stare, wondering,
thinking whats the point in all these journeys of water?

Thinking back again,
isn't this what people go through life with, everyday?
Happiness? Disappointments? Uncertainties?
All only for a season or period,
never knowing when it comes and when it goes.

Inability to accept the reality of meaningless,
Ultimately, failing to understand the purpose of the journey,
Which speaks of Life.
Didn't really update for the past few days. I'm heading on the China this week already, Sunday.
While taking a very wet and flooding walk today by myself, I did some self-reflection in my mind.
Whatever things I saw, it goes to my mind and I started to think. I particularly like something I saw, the picture above where lots of water are flowing down the stairs. So I just took it and decided I shall blog about it.

If you've read at Lionel's blog, I somehow just seems to have lost interest in things I used to like doing. Like in the past, I could spent hours on gaming and now it just seems pointless to me. Besides that, I also watched really lots and lots, and really I mean ALOT of Movies and Tv shows for over a year or so already. Now it kinds of bore me whenever I start watching. Somehow, I can just accurately predict the plot of the movie and how it will end.

On top of this, I kind of found myself being quite pathetic believe it or not. Its like so hard nowadays for me to find company either to go do things together or even just a simple meal spontaneously. Either people just suddenly seems too far away from you to call out to or just simply because you have no one around you to be with.

In my house, its always just like a common place for lodging, where people live their own lives and where there isn't really much communication or interaction going around. It really makes no difference with living alone, except that you see humans walking around but you're alone, like in the public.

Anyway, most people go through our lives, too busy to evaluate our standings in life. Just going through the motion, just following a routine everyday, doing things that we're "supposed" to do. Answering questions with "politically right" answers and not really saying or thinking what's in our heart or mind. How did we humans get used to being so "controlled" in our actions?

Ultimately, the question remains here is, what's the reason for my being here? Is there a point? Would there be a meaning for it? Should we just live our lives as how its defined to be? Right now, I can already "think of" or "hear" lots of answers to that question, coming from you readers. Maybe there's somehow a model answer to it all but it might as well not answer the question at all, if you understand what I mean.

Currently, there are certain things I'm confused of or uncertain about. I can't quite figure out or infer the meanings behind most responses and gestures. Sometimes, I do feel quite useless and sorry for not doing some things or I would say failure to find courage to do things I'm supposed to. Like doing the right things approriate, placing the right priorities in line for different occasions or functions etc.

Whatever the reasons, its all gotta do with one thing... Its the Uncertainty in me and maybe also Uncertainty in everybody else's minds.

It might be that I'm just thinking too much but things still always ends up two ways, its either forward or backward, yes or no, and black or white if you like it.

-

Long Weekend..

2008-10-27T23:12:00.015+08:00

Gonna update about this long and draggy weekend!

Really it was quite a boring one for me. On friday, practically stayed home all day til evening. Since it was a public holiday and hardly we get to have everyone home, I helped out my Dad in contructing the brackets for the facilitation of new blinds for our windows. It was a long and boring process. On the other hand, the results are superb. I don't have to worry about glares while using the comp anymore.

While staying at home, I went on and sourced for the series "Twilight", highly recommended by CJJ. The author of the book is Stephenie Meyer, quite a successful one and she's definitely comparable to J.K Rowling. I somehow got the soft copy of the Twilight Saga and started staring at my monitor for hours before hitting almost 1/2 of it. It kind of draws you more and more each time into the plot, as you turned the pages down. It's basically about a girl that moved in from a urban environment to a rural one because of some family issues and was enrolled to a high school in a closely knitted community. She met a guy that is flawless in appearance and fell in love with his perfection. However, one event led to another and she eventually came to understand the trade off in his elegant attributes. The guy is actually a Vampire, that had his tribe collaborate a truce in the past with the human's tribe. After the revealation of the exploding truth, problems began marching in, ambushing their relationship in every direction known and unknown.

There's 4 parts to it and all the pages adds up to a total of 2505! Bet it will take some time to complete it or I would say some really strong motivation xD

Anyway, the movie version is premiering on the 21st Nov in the US and 18th Dec in SG. So here's a trailer of it (quite a thrilling one) :

No more about Twilight. I would describe today being the least boring one for me. I went to Bugis, Topone KTV with Lionel, Bro, Junwen and Yiting. The main point for me is really to kill time and enjoy at the same time. We did some crazy stuff over in there at the end, beatboxing like retards. After that, went shopping at Bugis Street with Lionel and bought some clothings. I saw some T-shirts that I thought might interest Shannon and got him 3 of it in the end. It's some heavy metal band's t-shirts.

These are the pictures I have for this posts:
Avenged 7 FoldDimmu Bogir Bullet For My Valentine

Me, Lionel, Junwen
Retarded Beat-Boxing
aa

Every little things adds up to life..

2008-10-25T00:18:00.006+08:00

Hey Guys!

Back to update about the recent Happenings in the last week of Official School days!

So we went together, the three Sec 3 express classes to the Opening ceremony of Engineering Week at Republic Polytechnic. It should be quite fun if someone was to win the lucky draws prizes. It includes ipod Nano and Motorolla Mobile phones etc. Unfortunately, our school had to leave earlier, leaving all our odds of winning to waste. This would somehow help the rest have a higher chance of winning. Less people take part = More chance of winning!

So went back school and got back our report books for a conclusion this year. As expected, my overall results did plunge as compared to the EOY result. Its kind of a good sign, as it showed that I actually improved! The greater the plunge of the overall results in comparison to the EOY, the greater the IMPROVEMENT :D

Gonna keep working hard for next year "O" lvls. Time really flies, I still remembered me posting about coming in to this year during January and now its already the end of the school term. It will be the same when its "O" lvls and I look back at this post.

Anyway, Thursday was the last day of Official school day for all Marsilings. Basically went to school to return the report book and did some simple spring cleaning. After that went on to discuss more about the year end class activity. It was really very hard coordinating a class activity where everyone would be present and all would be willing to participate. We thought of organising a class camp at first but it is quite impossible for now. We talked about it with our form teacher and realised it was too short a time to await or expect approval. SO, we settled on a class outing/BBQ on 22nd Nov 2008, Take note!

We went to have lunch over at KFC later on and chilled for quite a while before leaving for home. Although it was a short day, but it felt so tired like I've just finished a 2.4km run. Ergo, its home and then off am I to sleep xD

Two random pics at KFC :
Shannon
The food we ate and somehow my wallet was there @.@

Short and Quick One..

2008-10-21T22:21:00.007+08:00

Hey Guys!

This will be a short update!

Well, Monday was a fast day off for me. Came to school and there was no lesson that day. Did some presentation of the charts in EE Hub and then I'm off with the ECs back to my class. We kind of had fun yesterday playing an action reaction game. Supposed to follow the call of the commander and do a particular action, but the commander have to do a different one to trick our minds. It was seriously damn Hilarious!

After that was all sharing about some Ghostly experiences and stories! Lols, I think we were too bored that we went on and discussed about the various types of ghost in differnt culture.

I also shared around my experience at YLA 4.

Anyway, Videos sure do a Better job than pictures or words right?

So here it is, the video of the Camp Finale, Apache:

Not very good quality video, quite grainy and there was shaking all around. Wasn't me that took the video, just found it while youtubing xD

You can find the rest of the tribes performances at youtube, search "YLA 4"

..

Youth Leader's Academy 4 (camp)

2008-10-21T00:17:00.003+08:00

Hey World! It's been a day already since I came back from the YLA 4 camp at Ngee Ann Poly. Just one word to describe the camp, AWESOME!

If this is to be counted as camp, then it will be the best one yet for me. The accomodation was superb manzx, nowhere near any campsites or whatever place you call it. Its called the loft@94. The place was like fully furnished with iKEA furnitures and it is so damn cool! Simple nice abstract style, makes it feels cozy and comfortable; like its my own apartment.

Some pictures highlighting the loft:
The living room

Toilet in my roomCool rite? Don't whether if I'm heng or suay. Cause the tribe gathering place was in my apartment but we get to enjoy only having 4 staying in it while others have 9 or 8. Although I prefer to be with more people around and also people I know but too bad lahz.

I was dispatched to this tribe called "Apaches" where pretty much everyone is stranger to me and people from the same school was either from different student leader group or different Sec level. My roomate was Zhao Yong, Yong Quan and one anti-social student leader from NP. The AS-SL in my room didn't even intro himself, didn't talk at all. Among us in Apache, I'm like the only sec 3 guy and it was like really no link at all. Good thing is I wasn't "Daoed" by roomates. The Yong Quan look quite scary, like "pie kia". I see already also sianz 1/2 but somehow I just tried getting along with them. I'm sorry to say but I didn't really had much fun with my own tribe and all. Only took a group photo with the tribe, I only have the hard copy, so there's no pics to upload about. At the end of the day, I did made some acquaintance from other school and also from our own.

What I really enjoyed the most in this camp was actually those activities collaborated with Adam Khoo Learning Tech Group. NP outsourced the training to them and the way they carry out the workshop was AMAZING. There is this trainer Candice, she can talk non-stop for 3 hrs and keep all the audience all excited and hyped up for more. Although I somehow already know parts of what they were teaching, I was still drawed in and I realised the way they carry out the workshop really make people absorb and digest well.

We did this profiling test, called "Tetra Map". Basically its divided into 4 differnt nature elements. Earth, Air, Water and Fire. Me being the thinking, analytical, logical, rationale and critical one was obviously Air dominant. I did all other personality tests and got the same results also. The thing is, they taught us this 4 general character traits so we can be flexible towards the diferent traits by thru profiling to bring the best out of people we work with.

They also taught us the thing about synergy, how 1+1=4. How we produce tremendous results thru win-win situations. Like winning 16 points for tic-tac-toe game instead of just having 2 points for one person every 2 rounds.

The next most enjoyable thing is the outdoor games activities. It was seriously very fun and its where teamwork were required of us. We played unentaglement and a few other games(don't the name).

All of the younger people should really take part in this camp if possible in future. I'm sure there will be YLA up to 10 or mayb 20. Now it's only YLA 4 and they have like 2 YLA per year. I just checked up on youtube, I think the YLA 3 was held during the June holidays this year, 2008.

We proceeded on to the last day of the camp. 3 days sure pass damn fast! We had our camp finale and our tribe won the " Drama-mama Award". After that was farewell-ling and free-style phototaking time, and then one big group photo of YLA 4. Most of the people in my tribe was like emo-ing and tearing, people giving hugs here and there. Not I emotionally shutdown or whataver, because if I were to tear or emo it would haven been for nothing, and to the apache people I would look "insane" cos I barely know them. I believe those people feeling down either did get themselves engaged with the SLs(because of common grounds) or they haven't really experience anything like "people come and go" stuffs.

Overall the camp was really my best one ever, but I believe it could have been better. I'm inspired and is spured on to bring myself to a new level of breakthrough in the art of leadership.

(boring post I know, really no pics in camp)

Except:

In the MRT

That's about it...

Cloud Nine or 10?

2008-10-16T01:02:00.000+08:00

Hey guys! Back to update a little more about the End of Year Examination.

All of us received our EL Paper 1 today and I'm so happy that I scored well for it. Remember back a few previous post I said I wrote the compo "Determination"? I said that I wrote the essay in a blogging kind of style. Its like a true account of myself and whatever came to me I just wrote it. I didn't really thought it would do my any good but to my surprised it worked!

This time round our class did fairly well for writing. The average marks is around 19/30 and I think maybe 3 -4 got 23/30, an A1 for it. Well, I'm inside the 3-4 category and its like a breakthrough for me in English. Never had I scored a distinction in any particular EL paper before.

I calculated my overall for English this term and I actually got a 68%, B3. Kind of wasted, its just 2 more % away from distinction. Its the highest I guess across the level as I heard, nobody got distinction though.

I really want to thank one person, without her I think I can barely do what I've accomplished now. And she's none other than Michelle! She used to be my tutor for Maths and English in my Secondary 2 years. I wasn't really geared to the style of writing and reading in the past. So its like suggested that I blog in proper English more to practice my flow of language. Of course its not just about blogging, I tried everytime to pick up new words and fill up my vocab tank. This is where http://www.dictionary.com/ comes in handy. Its like whenever I come across words that I don't know, I will try to find some time to look up on it.

Reading really helps and like I always say, http://www.wikipedia.org/ is a good place to start! Just read a simple featured article everyday if there is no particular topic you have interest in.

Oh yea, watch more English Drama Series. Up til now I'm hooked to quite a few drama series and of course lots (really alot) of English movies. Drama would now be: Prison Break, Heroes, House MD, Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles and The Big Bang Theory. Awesome would be the word to describe all these Tv shows. I bet with you, just one episode of any one of it, you will want to go on and watch more.

Here's a little preview for The Big Bang Theory:
(I promise you will love it =) )

Wolowitz:

And this Sheldon:

The Looking Glass

2008-10-15T01:32:00.001+08:00

By: Jennifer PierceAs I look at you a sense of sadness enters my mind
You look so full of despair
Watching you through my eyes
Wondering what kind of thoughts, hopes, dreams you
might come to share
I am your friend
I hope you understand
Whatever fears or worries you may have
I want to help you in whatever way I can
Why do you hate yourself so?
Hiding inside yourself
Where is the girl I used to know?
If only you had enough courage
To love yourself as you should
I know the feeling of loneliness
I wish to help you if I only could
For the girl that I am looking at
The girl so full of despair
Tho one who seems to hate herself so much
Thinking that nobody seems to care
For the girl that I am looking at
The girl that I tend to see
Is nothing but a true, reflected image
An image I call me......

Got myself to get hold of this poem or whatever you call it. I think it speaks of, I believed what most people have felt while living this life, Loneliness? Despair? Frustrations? and Resentment? If you had not felt like this before then life's great for you.

Don't know about you, but I am prone or tend to have the feeling that whatever I'm doing, I'm always by myself or alone. Its like whenever you're faced with things and you look around you, hoping you could find someone to load the burden together with you, you just seem to fail seeing anyone around.

You go on and think, after 4 -5 years down the road, would people around you be still around you. Maybe for your family yes but the so called "friends" you've made? Most of the people don't realise we've actually made more schoolmates or colleagues if you will, than friends. School mates are those that happens to be doing the same thing at the same place with you, they have to be around you because they need to, not because they want to.

I've literally lost touch or contact with my primary school "friends" or "best-friends". And also people that used to intersect with my schdule disappear. Once there isn't a common interest on, Bam and its gone. Can't blame people, humans do change from time to time. Its a constant and on going thing. I've read people's blog that have archives for over 1 or 2 years. I read each different months in the different year and I notice Change in it. Even for myself, I read my past arhchives. I think I've gone through some changes. You can easily tell it by just looking at the way any person types.

Anyway, you can actually easily identify people around you, who would be there for you. Its not all that difficult to identify, its just a matter of how you can accept it and lower your expectations. The lower your expectations, the less disappointed. For me, I don't really like expecting much from people around me. I had once but was let down, ergo I don't really like depending much on people. Most of the time it wont turn out as what you want it to be. This somehow just makes one feel pathetic or maybe miserable. You want to believe that an individual can be counted on but yet you just know that you know that you know it won't happen.

You can't really talk with pretty much anyone about this kind of things. Most of the time you haven't even started much on sharings, all the positive cliché or common stuffs comes in. Or you just cannot express things like this to people you think that would not be there. They are there for the moment because they somehow got to know something, once you convinced them that you're fine. Bam its gone. Sometimes you get confused with your emotions, you don't really know what you're thinking or what you're saying. You will be thinking its ridiculous, but its just like that.

..I just wish and hope that I'll have the honor, just a chance to make it work out. I've done all that I could and pretty much run out of most things to ask or talk about. I just need an affirmation pertaining to it. I will have to move on somehow someday, just a matter of forward or backward. Just cant contain it no m

ore..

1, 2, 3, 4... Results Zz

2008-10-13T22:24:00.008+08:00

Hey guys! I got back my results today and I'm quite pleased with what I've achieved. I'm really very glad that I cleared my Add. Math and scored distinction for E. Math and Principle of Accounts.

So here's a Outline of my marks:

EL: 31/50 B4
CL: 56% C5
EM: 70% A2
AM: 66% B3
POA: 70% A2
CHEM: 67% B3
PHY: 47% D7
Comb Humans: 42% E8

There's significant improvement the subjects I've been working on. For Add. Maths, I got a 35% at Mid-year Exam. Though I should at least be getting 80 > for now but I'm seriously happy I actually cleared it. Time to Do the Math. Remember I told you about the 18 marks given away? So you offset the 18 marks gone into my 66, you get a 84! ahahas xD

For the two subjects I failed I'm gonna put in more effort to get decent grades. The main 5 subjects I'm gonna focus more on will be EL, AM, EM, CHEM, POA. My 5 core subjects for entry to the DISM* course at SP. For English, the most important subject, I should be getting a B3. I haven't got back my paper 1 yet.

Anyway, I've also been listening to Plain White T's song and just F.Y.I the band had just released their new album "Big Bad World" on the 23rd of September 2008. I managed to grab hold of their album, so if you want any of their songs just let me know.

I will be highlighting one of their, I think the best song in the album and a potential one that will most probably top the charts somewhere sooner or later. Very Sweet and Cute, and how timely its album released date was situated at.

It's called "1, 2, 3, 4", Enjoy:

Give me more loving than I've ever had
Make me feel better when I'm feeling sad
Tell me I'm special even though I know I'm not

Make me feel good when I hurt so bad
Barely getting mad
I'm so glad I found you
I love being around you
You make it easy
It's as easy as 1-2-1-2-3-4

Theres only One Thing
To do
Three words
For you
(I love you) I love you

Theres only One way
To say
Those Three words
Thats what Ill do
(I love you) I love you

Give me more loving from the very start
Piece me back together when I fall apart
Tell me things you never even tell your closest friends

Make me feel good when I hurt so bad
You're the best that Ive had
And I'm so glad I found you
I love being around you
You make it easy
Its easy as 1-2-1-2-3-4

* DISM : Diploma in Infocomm Security Management

Boys Like Girls - Thunder

2008-10-12T23:32:00.006+08:00

Hey guys! Made some changes to my blog. As you can see, on the top and also some minor font related changes here and there.

The theme is none other than Boys Like Girls (BLG), an awesome band! I like one of their song very much, its called "Thunder". The lyrics means a lot and it literally sings out my feelings and my intentions. In other words, it relates to me well. Ergo, I really like it very much.

The banner was customised by myself using some random photos of their band and also pictures like the lightning from google. Played around with photoshop and thats what I could get.

I'm gonna share a video taken from the Nike Human Race at 31.8.08, showing them performing "Thunder". I can't believe I actually missed their free live performance here in Town. Zz
I actually was around in that area that day. I went to the SYC performance at esplanade. Remember me updating about the SYC a few posts ago??

So here's the video:

Today is a winding road
Thats taking me to places that I didnt want to go, whoa
Today in the blink of an eye
Im holding on to something and I do not know why I tried

I tried to read between the lines
I tried to look in your eyes
I want a simple explanation; what Im feeling inside
I gotta find a way out
Maybe theres a way out

Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer
Do you know youre unlike any other?
Youll always be my thunder, and I said
Your eyes are the brightest of all the colors
I dont wanna ever love another
Youll always be my thunder
So bring on the rain
And bring on the thunder

Today is a winding road
Tell me where to start and tell me something I dont know, whoa
Today Im on my own
I cant move a muscle and I cant pick up the phone, I dont know
And now I'm itching for the tall grass
And longing for the breeze
I need to step outside, just to see if I can breathe
I gotta find a way out
Maybe theres a way out

Yeah Im walking on a tightrope
I'm wrapped up in vines
I think Ill make it out but you just gotta give me time
Strike me down with lightning
Let me feel you in my veins
I wanna let you know how much I feel your pain

We'll make the Great Escape!

Pointless Rants..

2008-10-10T23:50:00.002+08:00

Hey World!
Exam's Over!
Getting to the but part....

But there and then, I did something Foolish @.@ . You would have called me Dumb if you had heard it. Guess what??

I actually skipped doing the last page of my A.math paper! It's 18 good worth of marks gone! 12 marks on coordinate geometry and 6 on graph. I'm really not in my right mind. I looked at my graph paper and then I tried very hard finding a graph question but I just CAnt..

In the end, I was left with the last 5 mins and I turn to the back of the 2 pieces of paper. MY GoodNess! There's 2 questions left untouch. Just F.Y.I 18 marks is the difference between a c5 and a A2!!!!!

The next dumb thing is the physics paper. I actually did a graph plotting on a foolscap. It didn't occur to me at all, until the end of the paper when people came up asking why didn't I use my graph paper. I was suppose to draw a converging lense thing. This didn't really mattered much because I'm gonna get it wrong anyway.

Seems like I've got some problem with graph related questions. =.=

I'm gonna make sure such things will be the first and last time happening to me. Really felt like banging my head against the wall for goodnesss sake.

However, I have confidence in my amath paper. I really did studied hard for it, its what really at stake for me. I should be doing alright for it but just that I felt its a waste. I could have done better. Too bad for me and maybe everybody else, life's not really that fair afterall.

..You'll always be my thunder
So bring on the rain
And bring on the thunder..

2008-10-06T20:24:00.008+08:00

Hey guys! Its gonna be two more days before the end of EOY! I'm left with Math P2 & A.Math. So far the papers had been quite okay, except that one or two of them I might have just slipped off. The most confident paper for me, I would say is POA. Just had it today, P1 & 2. Long paper but a very do-able and smooth one.

My dad just got back a dog from his friend and it's name is 'Happy'. I have no idea what breed is it but heard its a mix breed. It have furs like teddy bears and its kind of cute. Weird name and it seems like this dog have a different kind of behavior. She's very obedient and conservative, so far I haven't heard her bark yet and she is also toilet trained. Most importantly, she doesn't BITE.

So here are few pictures of Happy:

- Do Dogs Emo too?? @.@

Definitely a nice companion around. She accompanied me while I mug for POA til Young in the morning(zZ).

Oh yea, I removed the song player already. Just thought that not everyone likes the song I like, so no Song is the Best. Find it irritating when I'm listening to my songs and out of a sudden the song in my blog plays Lols.

(Anyway, do any1 out there have any idea what's wrong with the HTML code if the pictures I upload in my post is un-clickable?)

I wish all the best of luck for the remaining papers and I really look forward to the China Exchange Programme 34 more days later!

I'll hold on, its "quite" alright..

2008-09-23T22:31:00.003+08:00

Today is the start of and obviously the first day of my and many others end of year examination. It proceeded on as per normal, English Paper 1 was and will always be the first paper. Maybe for this year, English as a subject may seem much more significant than the rest of the years. Chances of getting retain because of failing English can be quite scary.

I got the question paper like everyone else did and to my surprised I didn't really know which question should I attempt. It was all kind of tricky. The question looked interesting and you would have thought that you have every points just for it. I was tempted to do the argumentative one but it occured to me that my future hangs in the balance. Then I looked on to other question, it was to recount an occasion that your decision actually made everyone else disappointed with you. Cant really write that, can you? You will never ever get close to whats on everyone's mind simultaneously. If you can, it means either you're lying or majority of the people in the world are idiots, in which case the majority would see you as "banana". Next I saw the very first question, "Determination".

I just started writing something out in the answer script, starting out with big sayings like determination had and will always be the driving force for anything to achieve its success and so on. Then I got stucked just right at the second paragraph, no idea how I'm going to carry on. So I just got on to impromptu, like how I'm writing for blog post. Writing out whatever comes to my mind. It may sound crazy and suiciding but at the end it all make sense and it did linked things up. I wrote about some thing I remembered when I was in primary school and mixed it with some imaginations, then linked it up with what happened in my secondary 2 years. Not really an literal account though, more metaphorically like figure of speech. After I wrote and concluded the essay, my mind just turned on started itself doing reflection.

Of course its about determination. I wrote in my essay that there is a downside to it. You could end up being obsessed with yourself, your aspiration and in due time self destruct. To some people it might hold true, to others it might not. To others, maybe those that had self destructed wasn't incisive with their direction or wasn't determine enough.

So what I'm trying to really say is, it has come to my mind that there is a high chance, the existence of absolute truths and answers or solutions for anything might not be possible. From here, you could see that truths are likely to be relative than absolute in some cases.

Therefore my point being, when you want to see results for something, you do something about it, anything. If you do nothing by just going through the motion (also means doing the same thing expecting different results), nothing changes. Somehow whether you failed or you succeed, you will have the right answer to your situation. Cause the ironic here is that you cant know whether you failed or succeed without having an answer meant for your situation.

Which also proves this quote "Everything will be okay in the end, if its not okay, its not the end". However, at least for me, common sense will tell me its crap. If the quote is true, life is meaningless. What's the point of being "okay" at the end, when you know you cannot really be literally at the end and know its the end, unless you've been there and managed to come back, which is still not the end. Ultimately, the end is the end, nothing else. If being okay at the end is the answer to you then starting a "start" would be meaningless. Because when there is no start, it would have already been an end, which is nothingness, which is "okay" in that sense for the quote.

SEE, its relative! I just wrote out two things that makes sense but yet completely contradicts each other. The contradiction being, the earlier paragraph tells you to do something to get your answer, the next paragraph tells you to do nothing and you would get your answer and be okay in the end.

You can see it as an paradox or an anomaly, OR you can take that there really isn't a definite or absolute in something. If you do think there is definites and absolutes, you would indirectly be claiming that you know everything in the world, in which case you don't. Because by calling definite, you rule out all other possible possibilities possible.

So the questions remains:
Relativity
1. Is your life full of significance or is it meaningless?
2. Is there an answer to everything or there's no solution?

(I hope until here it had at least made you think, so if you're really miserable and feel life's meaningless then the thinking would have made it significant, which is again insignificant for you if you think life is meaningless)

This post is really just for me to keep a record in my archive, so when I look back in the future I need not do any further thinking than this. Sorry if you're tortured =)